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Old 12-12-2007, 12:53 AM   #1
Margo
 
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~Struggling

Im really struggling.
Im really sad
Im really lonely
Im really feeling ill from this cold.
Im really finding anything and everything a real battle right now.

I feel like im in freefall and gathering speed further and further down.
Im sorry



~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P



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Old 12-12-2007, 02:20 AM   #2
blondiebear
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I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so ill and lonely.

*Offers you a parachute and a mattress at the bottom*



My husband is my best friend.

In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.

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Old 12-12-2007, 03:33 AM   #3
Queen Crabbit
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Hey Mr.

Just to remind you [again] that I care loads. I'd give anything to give you a cuddle right now.

Look after yourself please.

x




&& then buffy staked edward. the end.


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Old 12-12-2007, 05:51 AM   #4
butterfly525
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I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad right now. Hopefully the feeling will pass soon. Keep talking to us if it helps, we're always here for you. I hope things get better. *hugs*



Laura


"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Theresa


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Old 12-12-2007, 10:42 AM   #5
Lora
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*catches you from freefalling*

Im sorry youre feeling so low hun, I know it feels like you are alone but youre not, Im always here if you want to talk, wish therer was more I could do

*offers you big warm cuddles*

Love Lora xxxx




I scream for the sunlight, or a car to take me anywhere, just get me past this Dead and Eternal snow.
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere, just take me there, and lie to me and tell me it’s gonna be Alright.
- Conor Oberst

Proud PLUMERIA Sister

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Old 12-12-2007, 11:44 AM   #6
PropheticStar
 

you are never alone

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Old 12-12-2007, 11:51 AM   #7
Louise
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I am sorry your feeling low...u are never alone. *cuddles u*





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 12-12-2007, 11:59 AM   #8
bleedingdragon
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My Ninjapenguin friend,
I hear you about your struggling my friend please hold on and keep in touch with RYL and the vets its great that you have been able to say how you feel please keep doing it.

i understand you feeling sad, lonely and ill from your cold.
i hear you about finding everything a battle my friend

im finding things a battle myself,but wanted to reach out to you
please keep battling my friend and hanging in there
please know you are cared about by many friends here at ryl
please know your not alone many friends are here for you matthew

i hear you about feeling like your freefalling please try and hold on
we are here and we will be with you as much as we can
your a very supportive and caring friend

you have nothing to be sorry for mate, im thinking about you mate

Dave




" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it"
Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica,
,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :) S_Pod live help

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Old 12-12-2007, 12:01 PM   #9
Stellata
 
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How're you doing this morning?

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Old 12-12-2007, 03:01 PM   #10
Margo
 
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This morning is bad. Hopeless and bad.
I purposefully cut today. It wasnt a slip. I wanted it and i enjoyed it.
More superficial crap, nothing like i am capable of.

I dont even know what im capable of. Probably nothing. nothing at all.

Im low. Really low. I can feel it in my head. Its like flu.

My chouces and my decisions yet the pain that goes withit is something i never expected, never anticipated.

i showered and went for a drive. Pointless really. Wandered around the bleak **** hole that is Scunthorpe. A depresives dream. If you want hell then visit Sunny Scunny.

i had to force myself not to cry in the shop. Force myself not to cry in the car on the way home.

Why now? Why me? Why the **** did this happen to me?



~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P



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Old 12-12-2007, 03:34 PM   #11
bleedingdragon
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Matthew,
Hugs, im sorry mate that this morning was so bad for you,

Even if you purposefully cut please try not to be so hard with yourself.
you feel the need to cut right now, its still a way of coping wether you couldnt control it or as you say you wanted to cut.staying safe is really important mate. Be as patient as you can,
we still support you and care we arnt judging you ok

hey right now you will be worried about what you might do, please keep talking if i helps stay strong and safe mate your not alone

i understand your low let others here support you matthew, i hear you about feeling pain from your choices n decisions if you can dont be to hard on yourself.

hey its good your trying to take care of yourself and going out for a drive mate is a good step its getting you out and doing something.

I hear you about forcing yourself to stop yourself crying in the shop and in the car, my friend i know how hard that is. If you can cry in private then it will help you release some emotion.

my friend wondering why now ,why me, why did this happen to me they are sometimes like the questions that might have no answer, we all ask these questions mate i do with myself alot, you may be able to figure them out, but whats important is looking after yourself and working through stuff best you can.

hang in there

Dave




" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it"
Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica,
,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :) S_Pod live help

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Old 12-12-2007, 03:46 PM   #12
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Matthew I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. sending sympathy and hugs xxxxxxxxxxx



live life to the full

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Old 12-12-2007, 05:37 PM   #13
Stellata
 
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I understand Scunthorpe. I did lots of teaching practices there. Bleak suburbia doesn't help depression.

I also understand that hopeless feeling of nothingness. I've been there.

If you need to cry, cry. Can you find or create a safe place for yourself to cry?

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Old 12-12-2007, 06:13 PM   #14
Queen Crabbit
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Scunthorpe is a **** hole. But you won't be there forever. Promise.




&& then buffy staked edward. the end.


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Old 12-12-2007, 07:46 PM   #15
pez_barbie
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*hugs pengy*



If I pretended I was blind
And struck it from my mind
Would it still be there?
What if I'd do anything
To make it seem all right
I finally got Lei'd in Vets....It was an enjoyable experience!


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Old 12-12-2007, 08:11 PM   #16
craola
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Matthew you have friends...you know I can say all over the world because we have proof that you just came back from sunny Oz and though you didn't meet Judy Garland you did meet Erin who I hear is a close second. You know, I can scroll up, I'm in Surrey, we have Sydney, Southampton, London, Canada...Scunthorpe may suck, but you have people all over the world who love you and who want to help you through this and who would do anything for you. I don't if that helps or means a lot to you but you're a special bean you know. Take care Sir. xxxx

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Old 12-12-2007, 08:34 PM   #17
Ratatouille strychnine
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I thought average Dave could drop by and offer some average (if not worse) support. Failing that i can always give you a ludicrously chocolatey milkshake.


I don't really know what to say but I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you need anything and I care about you. You're a great guy and I wish I could do more.





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Old 12-12-2007, 11:06 PM   #18
Margo
 
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Thank you all. Thank you so much xxx



~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P



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Old 13-12-2007, 12:35 AM   #19
Bitter_Angel
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Mathew, Listen to what you said earlier.
You went out. Yes it was depressing, but you wnt. Youwent around the shops and you drove. Hunni when you feel low, this on its own is a huge accomplishment.
Not long ago, theanixety at the thought of doing any one of those things would have put you hiding under your bed for a week. Yet now you are still trying, even if you feel crap! Hun that is a big achievement.
Im proud of you for fighting this. I know you can beat it. You dont need to go back down that dark path. You know there is nothig but more pain down there. So keep fighting it.




Eva. Gone, but never forgotten 27.3.10

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Old 13-12-2007, 01:01 PM   #20
PropheticStar
 

Yeah, CrAimee is right. Even on the other side of the world there is someone that cares about you so much.

You are fighting. You are doing amazingly. You have taken impressive strides the past month or so. I have SEEN them with my own eyes. You went out BY YOURSELF in SYDNEY. And i was so proud i almost cried. Well, mebbie i did a little, but shhh.

oh, no, correction, by YOURSELF in Sydney TWICE!

You can fight this Matthew. You have already proven that to us, now its time to see it for yourself.

We all love you and believe in you.

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