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Old 06-06-2007, 06:56 PM   #1
vicky6584
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: London, UK
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finding it hard to cope (relationship and OCD)

I've been going through a lot of stress at the moment

I have a past of 4 years of Self Injuring, I had therapy, and hadnt felt the urge in months, until recently I started again, light scratches on my legs, I feel I'm back on that downward slope

I've had trouble coping with a new relationship I'm in, my boyfriend suffers from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and has recently gone in hospital for change of medication and therapy, and I can't see him, I don't know whats going on at the hospital, he won't let me come and see him as it will upset me,

Before he went in the hospital I was feeling the tension, from him and his family, he would repeat things i said to him, he would wind himself up over repeating his same routines, he's paranoid, always looks at the dark side of things, and some aspects are reminding me of what i was like at one point, and I'm always trying to perk him up, but now I feel drained

... the family are forever pampering him to his every need, he's 22 and should stand on his own two feet, or their giving him a lecture about his OCD... and I've been told his extent of OCD cannot be cured, I want to help him, but I feel powerless

I'm just having trouble coping with things at the moment, also the fact I can't see him until he comes out, and I don't know when that will be
I also feel that the family will hate me if they knew about my past of self harm, that I am not a fit partner for him

It just feels like I'm going backwards, after all my healing.. I feel like I'm facing it all over again

Going back to my doctors this friday, and will probably be put back on prozac again and sent to counselling again.. I'm sure they get fed up with me there

Sorry that majority of this post is about my current relationship... but this is the problem which is bringing me down

Vicky
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Old 06-06-2007, 07:26 PM   #2
Fionas little world
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You don't need to apologize, that's what this place is for.
Maybe since you can't see your boyfriend, you could write him a letter explaining how you feel but in a light mannered way since you said he always looks at the dark side of things.
As with the family you either stop them from finding out or let them know and try to deal with their reaction. Maybe the former would be easier at the moment since you're going through a tough time.
If the medication can help you calm down then it might be easier to cope and get things sorted until your boyfriend comes out of hospital and then you could be ready to come off it.
I really hope things improve for you soon, thinking of you.
You can feel free to PM whenever
Take care.
x
Fiona



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Old 06-06-2007, 07:53 PM   #3
vicky6584
 
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I have been in contact with him, by phone and txt.
Whenever I ask him how he's getting on.. he's always replying "not good".. as if he's not progressing at all
I don't expect him to be on top of the world, I just want to know if he's ok..

He knows "partly" how I've been feeling recently, he knows I've been feeling low and that recently I cut as a means of coping with it (he knows about my past, and he'll find out about the recent bout anyway), but thats all he knows.... but I cant offload to him while he's there, also his predicament for thinking things in bad terms, hospital or not

it is very hard.... I've came on this site to offload, as I cant keep it bottled up... bottling it up led me to go backwards and SI

Also the fact I heard from his own mouth that he's been sectioned, but I hear from one of my friends who visited him that he can wander about and socialise... so its left me a bit confused

Maybe I will have to go on anti-depressants for a short time... the only thing is I stopped in march, recently gave the tablets back.. and now I'm going back on them
I was on them for a year... I don't want that again
but if I can have a quick pick me up for now, then I suppose I'll have to take it

Thanks for replying and giving me some advice :)

Vicky
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Old 08-06-2007, 06:38 PM   #4
wicked
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one thing that will help your boy the most is a strong partner. sometimes you have to focus on yourself. offer him support, but dont get caught up in saving him, or rescuing him. be there for him.

slip ups are part of recovery. at least you are going to be getting what you need. try to take this in stride, the longer you focus on the fact that you slipped up, the more daunting it will become, and it will consume you more and more, drawing you away from whats important, why you slipped up and how you can help yourself next time.

stay strong, and stay safe. =]

aim --> allieinc



"all things truly wicked start from an innocence."

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