Obsessing

[bessie_massacre]

I don't know how to feel anymore. Everyday I wake up the first thing on my mind is how I can avoid having too many calories.
The whole day goes on like that and it doesn't stop. I exercise until I'm physically sick.

I spend a good half an hour staring in the mirror at myself, looking at what parts are disgusting and I need to work on.
My life is crumbling rapidly, I've no energy anymore only for the gym, my husband just stressed me out more because he's always shoving food in my face and I just don't know where to turn, I don't want to go back to a doctor but I know friends and my husband want me to.

I.m stuck and just feel hopeless.

B

[Wonderland.]

Sorry to hear you are struggling so much.

Would it help to write a list of the pro's and con's of your ED behaviours? We can help you with that if you would like.

Is there any reason why you don't want to see a doctor?

[bessie_massacre]

I've been suffering with my ED for so long the pro's and con's don't even phase me any more.
I had an awful time with doctors and being hospitalised, I just felt like I was ignored until it got to such a terrifying point.

Thank you for your words though.

[Unbreakable.]

What kind of support would you like?

I am just asking as I feel unsure about what would be helpful for you as you don't want professional support and say you don't care about the negative effects of the ED.
Are you asking for support with recovery? Maybe looking into ED charities or similar might be worth a shot if doctors aren't something you want to try.