Quite few members have expressed concerns over the state of the ED Board & we thought a new thread might be worth a try, somewhere we can all put our (beautiful) heads together & have a light hearted debate on where we should go from here.
A couple of points that have already been raised are;
A lack of community spirit across both ED boards
Fear of being judged when posting threads for support/giving advice/support to others
Just a thought, Maybe we could have a sticky thread here for Eating Disorder related first aid?, instead of having a steady stream of threads for the same thing? I would imagine the first place if someone was having an ED-Related FA issue they'd go here, rather than going to the main site & finding the information? Physical complications are a very real symptom of an eating disorder & can be quite scary if you don't have the correct information on whats going on... Maybe members of the ED board could also suggest things to add the sticky thread as well, Mind you I'm not sure that's allowed as were not trained professionals or anything?
I think it's a hang-up from the old way - all the mods do all the forums now (as far as I know).
I think that part of the community feel was that people used to be very proactive in supporting each other and there was a high turnover of posts; now it's quite common for threads to get only a couple of replies and I think part of restoring the community feel involves everyone taking responsibility to support each other more.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
We don't currently have board mods and every mod mods every board.
Re stickies to be honest they aren't generally read and I've noticed people still post requesting information despite the sticky.
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
I think that part of the community feel was that people used to be very proactive in supporting each other and there was a high turnover of posts; now it's quite common for threads to get only a couple of replies and I think part of restoring the community feel involves everyone taking responsibility to support each other more.
I think this is a great suggestion. I try and answer what I can when I have words of support and so do a lot of others I notice. It's hard when you're struggling but at least when we band together we might be able to provide better support to each other
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
I think this idea is good and I'm glad something positive came from my thread
I think the fear of speaking one's own mind in case should someone else disagree with it should go. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing with others opinions but fear of being called inflammatory for your opinion when not put in a way that is unkind needs to go.
Last edited by fragile as glass : 23-06-2014 at 08:54 PM.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Agreed. RYL is a support forum & everyone should be supported despite their opinion, I feel like if someone doesn't agree with someone's point of view, that's okay, but I certainly don't think members should be 'calling people out' on it. If you haven't got anything nice to say - don't say anything atall.
As has been identified, the ED board is much quieter than it used to be. Considering this, when a person posts for support, anyone should be encouraged to reply. There should not be judgements made of those who do reply who are struggling. It discourages people from replying and clearly we need a more active forum.
Advice is advice, the person asking for it can take it or leave it, but nobody should be told or suggested that they are a hypocrite for giving advice. Everyone is here because they have/have had problems, nobody can take the moral highground and suggest a persons advice isn't worthy of giving or that they are wrong to suggest something because they cannot manage to do it themselves. The more variety of advice given the better, anything that discourages someone from trying to support another person is going to be counterproductive in the improvement of this board.
Last edited by MissAnonymous : 24-06-2014 at 10:27 AM.
Something I find when I post is I'm not so much after answers as understanding. Do others find that? I agree totally that people should be able to reply wherever they are in their ED or recovery so long as it is supportive in some way
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
Whilst this isn't R&V land, asking for understanding and encouragement to keep going/surviving and looking after yourself even in small ways is just as valid as someone who is very far into recovery. So if that is what you mean LittleCloud then I do understand. However to save frustrations that may arise, when the OP starts the thread it is very helpful to specify what they are asking for, or to write they are unsure of what they want but thought it could be the beginning of something useful as they wanted to see what could come from posting.
Whilst this isn't R&V land, asking for understanding and encouragement to keep going/surviving and looking after yourself even in small ways is just as valid as someone who is very far into recovery.
No-one has suggested this is R&V land and no-one on this thread has suggested that one persons advice is more important or valid than another.
Every one has an opinion and the right to express it and as has been said, the OP has a choice on whether or not to take the opinions/advice of others.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Everyone has a right to an opinion, provided this opinion stays with in the rules, ie. isn't deliberately malicious.
Getting back on track though, it sounds like what a lot of people are looking for is more support, generally, which means encouraging members to support each other more. In the past there have been a lot of Supporter-led schemes like 1234 but they've had varying success. Does anyone have any ideas?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I like the idea of every post getting at least 4 responses because I know for myself that if I only get say one reply it does upset me as I think everyone hates me but maybe thats just my crap to deal with
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
The trouble is, the Supporters are a small team; things like this rely on the support of the community as a whole, in supporting each other, and everyone doing 'their bit' so to speak. Does anyone have ideas on how we might encourage this?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Asking people if they would consider posting just once between them posting another thread. i.e, you put up a thread and give support to someone before posting another thread. It couldn't be monitored, nor could people be made to do it but if the thought was out there, then....
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I agree with Carmen; it might be difficult, plus a lot of people (ie. myself) don't have threads.
1234 was all about having one day a week where everyone supported a little more (in that case, 3 replies on 2 boards). What if we had a designated time period where we had similar; a one off thing (just to see how it goes), where we all supported a little more?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
