I want to get out of myself

[hole]

I don't know what to do with myself. I don't have a therapist. Having crying fits a couple of times a day. Fantasize about suicide, not actually going to do it, but it's like inside my head almost as calming thoughts when I have an anxiety attack. I used to self harm but I don't anymore. I feel so scared and lonely. And pathetic. I hate the sounds from outside, it just reminds me of a world I can't take part of. I spend days inside crying. Feeling like **** because I waste my days. I hate myself. I feel paralysed. I feel like I'm worthless. I feel like punishing myself but I can't hurt myself because I'm in a relationship and it wouldn't work if I hurt myself, I can't do that.

It feels surreal around me. And I don't want to be inside of me. My anxiety medicine has run out. I feel like a burden for just existing. I feel like I don't deserve to live because I waste my life with being unhappy.

[Kyaneos]

Hello, I'm sorry things are so hard right now, you say you dont have a therapist, but is it possible that you could go and speak to your GP to get more anxiety medication and perhaps get referred to a counsellor or other mental health services?

Well done for being free of self harm, that is a big acheivement. You arent pathetic or worthless, you deserve to feel better. Can you talk to your partner about what is going on?

[Eccentrics]

Hi there,

I'm really sorry I don't have many words right now but I wanted to let you know you're not alone. I feel like this is something I have might have written a few days ago and I can really empathise with the distress you are experiencing. Echoing what Steph said, would it be possible for you to go back to the doctors about how you are feeling? I think it's really important that you get some kind of support, or at the very least a repeat perscription (if appropriate) of your anxiety meds. Trying to cope with feelings alone, especially when one isn't leaving the house often, can very quickly make anyone feel isolated and depressed. It's important for you to have a 'safe place' where you can talk about them and learn to manage them

Do take care <3
- Holly

[kbeth]

Hi, I don't really have a lot of advice, just wanted to say I've been there and I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Try to be kind to yourself and spend time with people who are kind to you too, because that's what you deserve <3

[yoyogirl]

Can you speak to dr about getting more meds