I finally got into the appointment.

[Phells]

After a month and a half of cancellation I finally got to see the new Therapist. She seems really nice, and someone who is in a good position to help my situation, of course I've only seen her once so I'll keep my reserve.

It was weird at first because the forms were set up for a parent who was putting their child into therapy, rather than a child who was putting themselves into therapy. My mother had to write "I don't know, she won't tell me" on the lines that asked what was wrong and how long it was going on for. And then when she reached the section about abuse she checked "none" without a second thought, which stung like a needle in the heart since I told her. I know there is a lot of potential reasons for her doing so but it still hurt. She could have at least paused or something.

It took some time to sort out the fact that I was there for my own reasons, but afterwards I read the therapist what I wrote on everything I was going through, she asked me to read it out loud and it was very awkward. But anyway, we talked and I feel much more comfortable about her ability to help me. But I'm not sure how at ease I feel about everything still. She wants my parents to go to our next appointment so we can tell them about whats been going on. But my father doesn't want to go. He told me (jokingly, but still) that I was going because I "liked to waste money."

She wants me to take the MMPI-A test and I'm trying not to research it to much. She says it'll take a while for results to arrive and that when we get them we'll talk them over and then if we agree with what it says we'll explore it more and if we don't then we'll just ignore it.
Mum is suppose to be making the appointment to take the test today during her lunch hour but it's hard getting the clinics scheduled to work with ours. My mother was disappointed that I liked the lady at the clinic because she was hoping I wouldn't want to go there. Because its not near my school. And the test only happens on certain days at certain times it seems. Mum has to take time off of work.

The school might be able to offer a ride to appointments and such but I don't know if my parents will have to be there all the time. Does anyone have any experience with this? I don't even know how much it'd all cost seeing as how insurance was still being worked through and all. My parents are dragging their feet in all of this and I know it's because they aren't aware but after what happened before I don't want to tell them without someone to have my back. (ie the therapist). They probably wouldn't believe me anyway.

Its all so frustrating that I can't do any of this myself, it has to be through them and they don't have the time or patience to do it.

Does anyone know the rules when it comes to having to be escorted by your parents? Will there be a time before I'm 18 where I can just go by myself? I don't know how I'm going to keep getting help if I have to rely solely on my parents.

Sorry I sort of went rantish at the end here, by the way. I am all over the place.

[Accidentally Abstract]

I don't have much experience or advice to offer and am not sure of the rules in the states, but I'm really glad you got the appointment and your therapist seems nice. I really hope it helps. :)

Take care.

[Shenanigans]

I'm afraid that I don't know either, I hope someone can help with your questions. Perhaps write these things down and ask your therapist next time you see them?
I'm glad your appointment went well, and it sounds like there is progress being made. Try not to let delays/schedules get in the way of that fact, though I can fully understand that its frustrating it sounds like a lot of good steps have taken place.
Sorry I couldn't be much help, take care

[Phells]

It turns out that the test is only given in the city and mum wants to know why she has to jump through all these hoops and is worried about what I'll say. I finally offered to let her see what I read to the therapist but I'm really worried. This isn't how I planned it to be. Things aren't going the way they're suppose to, what if I can't do this by myself? What if I mess everything up by telling her? What if she says I'm lying? I can't take the offer back, I just didn't like to see her scared. i should've kept quiet.

[Phells]

I had to send it to her. I hate this. I don't know what to do. Theres nothing I can do. Its done. I hope I didn't mess everything up.

[Shenanigans]

I'm sorry I don't have any advice. I hope you're ok. How are things?

[Phells]

Well, I sent it. Along with a small paragraph that basically said over and over again that I didn't want her to be afraid or at the same time belittle what I was going through. Shes not outwardly freaking out at least.
She suggested that I was seeing ghosts but I don't believe in them. Then she called the clinic and set up a time for tomorrow to take the test. Now we just have to find someone to give me a ride hopefully... Or find someway to make it work with her schedule. Which it doesn't at all xD
It went better than I expected, perhaps it is unfair to hold the past against her. I try not to, but it still stings a bit.
And she's not home yet. Things may be different when the conversations go from text message to actual speech.

And dad doesn't know yet as far as I know...
This all sucks. xD

[Shenanigans]

I'm glad things went better than you expected. That sounds positive. And also that your mum has set up your appointment is also a good thing. Try to focus on those positive things first ok? I know it must be a very stressful situation for you right now but try not to let yourself merely think of the negatives of the situation.
It may take your parents some time to get their heads around everything, but I hope that things remain calm for you and everything goes ok tomorrow.

[Phells]

You're right. Things are going much better than I would have ever expected. It's hard to be positive...