Have not been on for a while, and haven't cut since may 1st, so I'm doing pretty well, but yesterday something just...not even rally triggered me, just....reminded me, I guess.
I was on the bus with quite a good friend who I've known well for about a year, but have kind of known her for several. I was wearing short sleeves, for once, thinkng thatmy scars were not too noticeable, and we were just chatting, and then she said, really loudly, "Oh my god, how did that happen? Do you like, cut yourself on your arm or something?".And I got off really fast abut later textedher and told her.
But when I was telling her the whole story, because she is n a theatre troupe with me, she asked if anyone else she knows knows. and the director of theat troupe, last year saw and forced me to tell my parents. I kinda didnt talk to him much this year, but towards the end of it I sort of talked to him, just sort of saying everything about why I was so pissed off at him. But what I didn't consider was that he might have to tell someone else.
The guy in charge of him and the theatre troupe is this really nice guy, but he kinda freaks me out, and he knows it,a nd its always been kinda a joke to the others. But becasue he's in charge, does that mean that my director would have had to tell him? DOes it count as like a health thing, and he should know like in case of an emergency? would he have had to have told him? Because im freaking out know that he knows and just hasn't told me. And I really don't want him to know.
If it is his boss then he probably does have a duty of care to inform him of anything going on within his role as director.
My tutor at college knows I SH & he had to tell a 'safe guarding officer' & I had to go & speak to her, basically it was about health & safety & covering their butt in the event of an incident.
yes, I am under 18, and I did tell my parents when he made me (he threatened to come knock on our door and tell them if I didn't) and he's like the day to day director, but this other guy is like the organizer/senior director and is actualy in charge so i dunno.
Not sure about Canada, but I know the USA and UK have mandatory reporting in certain areas, so I'm guessing Canada does too. This *may* mean he needs to report it to his boss, but it depends on your troupe's policy.
It's worth asking him though.
How are you doing at the moment anyway?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I'm doing ok. The problem is, because that was a whole year ago, in the meantime there has been severall occasions in which I'm at a rehearsal and like maybe not performing my best, and I'm wearng long sleeve snad he immidietly assumes that I've been SHing, and almost every time I've been so fed up with it. I always tell him that thats not what it was, because I just want him to start treating me like I'm not about to explode if he puts even a small amount of pressure on me, and I want to prove that I'm not more fragile than anyone else. ANd towards the end of this year when everything was getting better and I hadn't done it for a long time, the girl who last year was the person who told him that I was cutting came to say hi to everyone and I hadn't talked to her for months, and I kinda just broke down and apologized and such and he saw and afterwards me and him had kind of a good conversation and he kept saying how proud he was that i was able to stop, etc...so I don't really want to like bring it up again and kind of undo everything i've done so far.
I'm just kind of freaking out because if he does know, who else might the director have told?
Mandatory reporting means that the person is obligated to tell someone who can help--in your case, your parents. But they are also bound by their position to keep confidentiality. That is, they only tell who they must tell, and no one else.
If the director is doing their job right, they will not tell. But I would also encourage you to reach out where you need it and get some support. It is not healthy for you to be constantly on guard against anyone knowing about your SH and not being able to get to the bottom of why you feel you need to do it.
EDIT: From what you've described, his behavior sounds pretty typical of someone who cares about you, but has no experience with someone who self-harms. He is reacting to the behavior, and you just need to be patient and keep explaining.
Last edited by PaleMoon : 19-07-2012 at 01:44 AM.
Reason: Add-on
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
So he wouldn't have told his boss because it wasn't necessary to him trying ot help me? Its just that when he first confronted me about it, he was very adamant in syaing htat not only by his moral standards was he obligated to tell them, but also because of the rules of the troupe. I still feel like he might have translated that to meaning he told the other guy
PaleMoon explained mandatory reporting wonderfully. i agree with what she said, i don't think that he would be required to tell the director. however, if he did tell the director, the director shouldn't tell anyone else (like other cast members).
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