A month ago I got Diagnosed with depression, the dotcotors wont help so im not getting any treatment. I figures that if they wobt help surely it cant be that bad and thats good right? But i feel so ****, some days i feel really down but still feel slightly determined to chane it. Others i just want to end it. Up untill recently I couldn't think of a reason for my depression other than in the winter I finally decided to trust someone, feel in love with them and then got let down, I'm still friends with the guy.
Basically i was looking back over my life and trying to find the reason behind my depression and this is what I think may have caused it:
A few years ago I was looking after a friend who is a couple years younger than me, we went down to the park, he pushed me onto the ground (although he done it in a friendly, jokey way) but then he started trying to pull down my trousers and finger me. I Never told anyone about this, considering i was older than him it must have been my fult, I should I had more control. I 'forgot' about the incident and just got on my with my life.
At the start of this academic year a similar thing happened, although he didn't finger me just tryed to touch innapropreatily and stuff... This sort of brough up bad memories.
Iv always had trust issues and at the start of the year I finally fell in love, the guy knew I had trust issues and after falling for him he decided to say that he didnt want a relationship, after leading me on. Great. I spend all my time thinking about ways to make him happy, make him fall for me. Additionally, his best friend uses me to wank over, which doesn't help my self Estem.
I guess I feel like I'm worthless, no one cares all people see me as is an object, they just ant to use me. I'm weak and I let people use me because I'm nothing better that that, I'm not good enough, I guess I detected to be wabked over and forced on. I'm weak and ugly.
Hi. What did the doctors suggest when you saw them? If you find they're not very helpful, it might be a good idea to see another doctor instead.
I'm really sorry to hear about the incident a few years back. It might help to talk to someone about that; things that a buried have a habit of causing problems.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
If you were diagnosed with depression, then it's definitely "that bad". And even still, whether it's "that bad" or not, you have the right to receive proper treatment and help.
I really think your doctors should be doing more for you. It doesn't help to diagnose you and then send you on your way and expect everything to be okay from there. Maybe you could go back to your psych and ask about follow up treatment now that you've been diagnosed.
I think maybe a few self defense classes would benefit you so you can learn to be more in control if you are ever in that situation again,
as for the depression (aside from what ever meds the doctors have you on) I find that eating berries, bananas and other fruits help me to maintain a leveled happy mood.
also it could be a good idea to give yourself a healthy outlet maybe art or jogging on a regular bases.
anyways i hope that helps you out take care.
Hi,
Basically everyone has advice which adds up to you are not alone, and neither should you feel that you have to figure out the root of your depression alone.
The traumas/ abuses that you experienced were not your fault- but you may require some support in telling someone who can help you. In addition, whether it be medication or therapy; you should be receiving some sort of services after a diagnosis is given. A diagnosis is not a cure.
Are you able to talk to anyone in your family for support?
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
The docotr didnt say anything really, other than a grunt? He focused Mainly on mt blood test results for anemia ( which came back clear (:). Unfortunately we live in a samall area and he's the only gp aroud :/, as for talking to my family, I don't really trust them and haven't talked to them properly for ages.
Haabie wise, I gave up everything when I stared to get depressed, I'm starting to get back into Riding now though so that should be good :)
Is there something that you feel they could do that might help?
It's good to hear that you're getting more involved with hobbies again; they're often one of the things that can go when we're very depressed, and yet they can help us a lot.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I'm sorry that the doctor didn't offer any support, but don't give up in fighting for it, you deserve to get support to be able to feel happier. I think is great you've started up riding again, I know that my horses have definitely helped me.
Pm me if you want :)
Kate x
One of these days, your heart, will stop, and play it's final beat..
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not - Kurt Cobain
Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do.
Im skeptical of going back to the doctors as I do t want to seem obsessive? If they did actually help me I would prefer a therapy based treatment rather then drugs as they only treat the effect rather then the cause.
It won't seem obsessive, and often it does take going back a few times to find something that works. It might be helpful to ask specifically if they can refer you for talking therapies, as it's often difficult to know the best approach, and if there's something you'd prefer, doctors are often happy to go along with that.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Im skeptical of going back to the doctors as I do t want to seem obsessive? If they did actually help me I would prefer a therapy based treatment rather then drugs as they only treat the effect rather then the cause.
Why don't you go back to doctor and have some normal and calm talk with him. Ask him everything about therapy that don't include pills. I would do that if im on your place. More informations you get, its more better for you.
