Well, I would say that this fits into the mental health discussion, as this is affecting my mental health.
I don't think this needs any trigger warnings.... I hope I'm right.
I’m trying to not lose my ****ing mind right now.
Due to our financial situation, we’ve had to move into our mother’s house. It’s this or the street. Literally, we’re the next thing to homeless.
This environment is so beyond stressful. Of all the people in my life, my mother is the one who has ****ed me over, betrayed, manipulated, etc. me the most. And we’re living with her. Her house is an utter ****ing disaster, though by us being there, it’s starting to get some of the filth out of there. Due to the filth, I’ve already gotten a sinus infection, my throat hurts constantly, and my lungs have felt like crap. (I have asthma, and allergies.) I’ve had a switch of my meds….which seem to maybe be helping.
In addition to the physical issues, just mentally it is SOOOO freaking stressful living with her. But it’s this, or the streets. She just ugh. She’s innaproriate, lazy. She so so so needs mental health treatment but won’t get it. Other than meds, which aren’t gonna do jack, without counseling.
I basically have to beg her to help with any chores. It’s her house, *she* should be the one taking care of it, but she doesn’t. Yeah, she has pain, and health problems, but *SO DO I* I am 27 and have nearly 30 medical problems. I kid you not. But I don’t just sit around on my fat arse, and do nothing except get my arse fatter. It would do her good, both physically and mentally to get up and do at least one thing around the house. But I can’t change her, can’t make her accept that reality.
Also, what sucks even more, is that I have no fooking privacy. None of the bedrooms have doors. (they remodeled the house to be handicapped accessible, and they really did a crap job of it. Also, right now, my bro and I’s beds are in the same room. Our moving was totally a crap, hectic job. And so there was not enough space in the room that’s supposed to be his for his bed to go. So it ended up in mine until I was able to get some stuff out of the way. I’m hoping that tonight, or by tomorrow, we can get his bed back there. At least I will have my own space. Somewhat, anyway.
Oh yes, and let’s not forget the dogs. Her dogs are not properly housetrained. The dogs are like 5 years, and like one and a half. So basically, the room that is mine, was covered in there waste. We had to tear everything out, all the flooring that was in there. That was fun, let me tell you. Finally after having been over there like 2 weeks, I’m starting to get them pad trained. They still are peeing on the floor, but at least we’re making some progress. The dogs also bark, which they are finally getting a bit better about. They would bark constantly. At anything. At everything. They are maybe getting a little more used to us, but it’s still an issue. The one dog also destroys anything she can get ahold of. Like my mom’s license, glasses, anything she can get ahold of. My mom just brushes it off as “puppy behavior”. I’m trying to get them some toys and stuff made up, as I realize the behavior is attention seeking and out of boredom. She really shouldn’t have the dogs at all, since she can’t properly care for herself, let alone a helpless animal. But she can’t see that reality. And we very well can’t make her get rid of them, as she is the only reason we’re not on the streets.
Long rant, I know. Thanks for reading if you did. Just needed to get this out.
Yes, of course, I love my mother dearly. And I'm very thankful for her taking us in, but it's also so....difficult for me. It just slaps me back into the past and her betrayals. That's all....
So your scars fade away/You soaked up the pain/A better person 'cause you lived through those days/And now you know what it's like to prove/You can overcome anything that gets to you/Well it's alright/We're sayin' our goodbyes/To the past and everything that ain't right/We won't waste another day/With all these silly things in our way-Crossfade
Light a candle for the sinners...Set the world on fire...
that sounds incredibly frustrating and angering, as well as stressful and sad. do you think that you could try to get help for your mother on her behalf? i know that it isn't something that you should have to do on top of all the other things you're already shouldering, but maybe it would help you out in the long run...
what is your brother's take on things? does he help out?
maybe you could put up curtains in the doorways to get some privacy... or string one up around your bed area to separate it from your brother's
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I don't know how things work over in the US, but here you would contact the housing department and social services. You might qualify for emergency housing. There must be some government assistance available, especially considering where you are living now is a health hazard. I really hope you can get something sorted, as things sound pretty desperate right now.
I don't know how things work over in the US, but here you would contact the housing department and social services. You might qualify for emergency housing. There must be some government assistance available, especially considering where you are living now is a health hazard. I really hope you can get something sorted, as things sound pretty desperate right now.
Thanks.
Um yeah, there is absolute crap for services here. Especially since we are a family unit without children, we matter even less to the government. We're "adults". So no matter what our situation or why, they expect us to just take care of ourselves. The emergency housing office basically has no money to offer. And even if they did, that's only after we get a Denial letter from DHS, which won't help us, cause they have no programs to help people without children, unless it's food stamps, which don't pay for anything but food.
I have thought about asking my counselor how to get my mother commited. I will try to do that this coming week.
Expectations:
Yes, my brother helps out. He's mentally ill, in ways that are worse than me, but at least he's attempting to get help. He does try. It's much easier for him to help me, than my mother. If I ask in the right way and right tone, my mother will get off her ass and do something.
So your scars fade away/You soaked up the pain/A better person 'cause you lived through those days/And now you know what it's like to prove/You can overcome anything that gets to you/Well it's alright/We're sayin' our goodbyes/To the past and everything that ain't right/We won't waste another day/With all these silly things in our way-Crossfade
Light a candle for the sinners...Set the world on fire...
Do you think there are things that you could do that would make things a little easier at home, such as putting up a curtain in the doorways, like Katie suggested?
How is your mother at the moment? Do you think there are things that could help her be better at home, rather than having to jump straight into having her committed which could be quite upsetting for everyone?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
yes, I'm working on getting some more privacy things, and still working on trying to get us into separate bedrooms.
I guess I didn't use the right word. I just talked to my counselor about my mother's inability to care for herself due to whatever problem she has. She said she would talk to her colleagues, and I guess talk to me about it next week when I see her. My mother, is her usual self mostly, though seems a bit more motivated to do things.
And my other counselor did give me one resource to call for help. I dont' know what will come of it.
I have gotten more used to going into the bathroom to change, so I guess that's getter than nothing.
So your scars fade away/You soaked up the pain/A better person 'cause you lived through those days/And now you know what it's like to prove/You can overcome anything that gets to you/Well it's alright/We're sayin' our goodbyes/To the past and everything that ain't right/We won't waste another day/With all these silly things in our way-Crossfade
Light a candle for the sinners...Set the world on fire...
