I've been put on abilify and the side effects suck...but the voices HAVE to leave and I've been on so many other AP, so we're trying this one. but it has my mood swinging like crazy and some tummy troubles too. and I just feel outta control. I've been on it 6 days now so things should be settling down soon, i hope.
kaleb's bday is today. he is 8 :)
I miss Keith worse than ever. I was in a ****ing hospital when he turned 8!! I just want to hide from shame and guilt but its a the forefront of my mind and it wont go away.
ive burned twice now and plan to do more. the cycle has started and i need to stop it.
im sad sad sad....just too much for me...but i have no choice but to just somehow keep breathing.
It is worth telling your prescriber what the Abilify side effects are like for you, as they will know if it is likely to sub-side or if it is a sign the med is not suited to you.
Were you in hospital because of the Abilify, or something else? There is no need to feel guilty either way, and you do not need to punish yourself for it. Please try not to burn anymore. I know that is hard to do, but you really do not need to cause yourself anymore pain.
Thinking of you, Rach. Keep talking.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Hey rach come here to heap on more sensible rational thoughts. There could be lots of reasons why keith doesn't want/can't talk to you here's some I thought of
1. He's 14, what 14 yr old wants to talk about 'that kind of thing with their mom?
2. Your aunt could be listening in/eavesdroping and he doesn't want yo upset her.
3. He doesn't see it as a big deal so why keep talking about it.
4. He doesn't believe in that kind of thing, but each to their own and doesn't know how to put this across without hurting your feelings.
He loves you. He's smart and he makes you proud. He's a good boy. He is physically got and well. Somehow he has seemed to escape mental problems, despite living with your aunt! These are the things that matter. Love you x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
You have a good kid Rach. but he's still a kid. not many kids really know what to say in this situation and he probably doesn't want to talk about it cause it's icky. Not cause you'er with another woman but because you're his mum and no kid wants to talk about their mum's relationship with anyone! lol God i'm 27 and I STILL don't want to talk about my mum and dad :P
You can get through this rach. I know you can. And deep down I know YOU know you can. *cuddles*
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
im really struggling right now. Keith didnt call on my b-day 2 days ago. hurts my feeling to the core. i know he didnt call because he doesnt know what to say to me. happy bday would have sufficed,lol.
i burned pretty well few nights ago. planning to do more cuz these have popped and are icky and i need more. kaleb will be coming home tomorrow so it will be long sleeve time. i really hate this but dont know what to do. im alone.
kelly tried to kill herself the night before my bday....she really could have died. she begged mnenot to call 911 and i didnt. i just sat up and watched her. she is paying for it now. cant get out of bed..hurting all over...bad bad OD.
sooo..that ****ing stresses me out. i dont know why she did it. she wont tell me.
gods...i wish i had that option. maybe im jealous? idk...
have burned...smells icky and hard to burn over scars but no room left...how ****ed up is that?? im a freak...i definitely look like one....look like ive been in some crazy car accident where it caught on fire...but no..its just me.
oh, hun. Have you been to a&e for your burns - you should do you know, even though I understand that you may not want to.
It sounds like Kelly is very upset and angry right now, do try not to take it personally. Do you know if she is receiving any support?
As for Keith, would what happened with Kelly make him feel that some distance was needed, perhaps? That, or he may have sent a card and you have not received it yet - because, well, Royal Mail are rather ***** at the best of times.
Really wish I had better words. Text me next time, rather than burn?
*sends hugs*
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I agree you should get your burns checked out, if anything to help prevent them getting infected. I'm sorry Kelly isn't being supportive, but often we can tell someone off because we care but can't have the same level of care for us if that makes sense. She probably meant well. As for Keith, he is 14 I know my brother hardly speaks to my mum so don't take it too hard. Maybe you could write him a letter? Hold on there hun, you can get through this.
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
thank you both...ibe only been once for burns after they were infected and i have been careful ever since because they had to scrub them with some pink liquid and it hurt like hell..sooo....im an expert on caring for burns now.
as for kelly...she calmed down and we exchanged "i love yous".
she is in a bad place and i dont know what to do. kaleb comes home today and back to school tomorrow. im doing laundry now but i hope i dont have to everything tonight with him. i really need kelly's help but not sure i'll get it.
as for Keith. im ok right now about it. im going to give him his time. im not going to intrude on him. he will come around when hes ready. so im holding on to that.
I have had a seizure tonight. they are weening me off xanax at my psych office cuz they are no longer able to prescribe them so they are weening everyone off. but i wasnt ready and took my regular amount and ran out. kelly has he,ped me by giving me a valium every few days but it caught up with me to igbt.
i feel sooo bad. i get xanax in the morning but im in major withdrawals. im on seizuree meds already and cant beleive i had one, but that is common in benzo withdrawals. i would go to the hospital if i werent getting them in the morning. it scared me oretty good. i still cant see well...but its getting better.also, i think the withdrawals are why i havent been able to sleep. ive een through this befire...but it got bad tonight.
anyhow..im trying to just play my game on FB and stay calm cuz i cant sleep and im shaky and still scared but i will be ok. major headache and nothing to take for it.
the seizure was probably due to withdrawals because since ive been put on seizure meds, I havent had one. I took a xanax this morning and it immediately took me out of withdrawals. so, im ok now as far as the threat of seizures go, i think.
