To disclose or not to disclose?????

[Yume.No.Chikara]

Hi! I've not been on here in a real long time, but I badly need some support and advice and i didn't know where else to turn! First time posting in the veterans forum too!! Gah!!

Anyways here is my problem....I've started a uni course this year training to be an occupational therapist which I am really enjoying. After christmas we get sent out on practice placements for 6 weeks which could be anywhere in any setting i.e.. in a hospital, in the community, in a mental health unit......
I've been self harm free for 4 years now give or take a slip up or two..... I know that I am much healthier and happier and have better support networks now but I have been really worried the last few weeks that if I get put in a mental health setting and there are clients who self harm that I will be triggered and that I won't be able to stop or conversely that my scars might trigger clients.

I think part of the problem is that I am feeling really stressed in general at the moment balancing the work from the course and working part time to fund myself and I am just feeling really wobbly and insecure and like I might fall down at any moment. I hate that after 4 years I can feel so close to the edge like this.

I have a meeting on wednesday to discuss any needs I might have for the practice placement relating to my learning difficulty and I know that I could bring it up then. But I also know that I need to get over this and that I am going to have to go on a mental health placement at some time over the next 3 years! I've just never been comfortable about talking about this stuff, i've only ever told 3 people / let 3 people find out, i've never had professional help despite struggling since my early teens with sh and periods of seriously low mood (which i'm sure would be diagnosed as depression - although that could just be me over analysing!!).

I'm just so frightened of going back to that place I feel like i'm falling.....

I'm sorry to moan but any advice and support would be much appreciated!
x

[effervescence]

Personally, I wouldn't tell them, but that's me. I'd rather just suffer it since, as you say, you will be put in this position again at some point so there's no getting out of it.

Being placed in a MH unit doesn't mean you will definitely be exposed to people who self harm. There's a wide range of things that people will be "in" for. Also, you may not be required to get so close/involved with the patients that it would affect you. I think learning to deal with triggers is unfortunately a part of life and something that, especially in your line of work, you will need to do.

[Yume.No.Chikara]

Thanks! Your right! Perhaps i'm looking at this back to front! Perhaps I should look at it from a learning experience point of view!

x

[dazed1989]

If you're uncomfortable discussing it then i wouldn't bring it up... Yea people in MH units are in for lots of things but the chances are you will come across self harm... To be honest some patients may feel more easy around you because of it! Seeing SH of others can be triggering but part of recovery is learning to face and cope with triggers and resist the temptation they bring.
Good luck!