I don't even know if I'm acting like a child or not

staceyrawrcakes · 27-10-2011, 03:39 PM

I'm not trying to sound like I'm whining or anything but every day my fiance goes to work and tells me to do a load of stuff around the house that has to get done before he gets back from work otherwise it'll result in a domestic. So usually I try to get it all done before he gets back from work. I ask him to do one thing for me over the weekend or to help me clean up or help me make dinner and he never does it.
Today he's said I need to tidy up, hang his washing up to dry and find a battery for a phone. This is all as well as doing everyone else's washing up, making him dinner before he gets home, going to get something for dinner and everything else that needs doing.
I'm just in the mood today for not doing anything that he's asked me to. Right now, I don't care if the room will get messier just cos I haven't cleaned it today or that he won't have another phone to use cos his is broken or that his washing won't be dry. I just don't care. Why should I have to do everything he asks me to when he doesn't even do anything I ask him to?
I know if I don't get anything done we'll be headed for a domestic when he gets home but right now I couldn't give two shits.
Am I wrong for feeling like this cos I feel like I'm being a bit childish. Then again, I can't help how I feel and this has been going on pretty much every day for the past 2 months since I've moved in with him

staceyrawrcakes · 27-10-2011, 08:40 PM

I've said to him so many times and nothing changes. Normally it wouldn't bother me but my hips are bad at the moment so I can't go running up and down the stairs all the time for him. I didn't get it all done in the end anyway and for once he didn't have a go at me. Result?

BASKETCASE · 27-10-2011, 09:20 PM

ive been in this situation when i lived with my ex fiance, i worked and she stayed home, i never ever told her (or would tell her) this or that needed done but it did cause issues with us when i came home from work and she had been sat on computer all day (not suggesting you do this) and the house suffered,i ended up coming home from work, making dinner, cleaning up, hoovering etc, we did argue about it but simple things like bin in kitchen not being emptied etc ended up annoying me and we argued, hes no right to give you orders or list things you have to do but its stuff need doing and between you both it needs be done

staceyrawrcakes · 27-10-2011, 10:01 PM

Totally agree. I'd do it anyway whether I was asked to or not. Just annoys me that he wakes me up at 7 every morning and tells me to do stuff. I don't sleep well as it is and I don't need to be woken up at 7 every morning with a list of stuff to do. Would be nice if he could text me later on in the day. Hate having domestics all the time over housework.

random.swirls · 27-10-2011, 11:37 PM

Umm I think you have every right to feel this way and I'd be fuming if my man treated me like that but yep!

staceyrawrcakes · 28-10-2011, 12:35 AM

I had a go at him this morning, but that was partly cos he'd woken me up and I hate being woken up. I might have a bit of a strike next week, have to tidy up tomorrow cos we've got people round. I will get this sorted

random.swirls · 28-10-2011, 12:37 AM

You need to because some of your posts in here recently about your boyfriend have been I dont know just not right - I know not every relationship is the same but yeah!

xox

staceyrawrcakes · 28-10-2011, 12:51 AM

I know :( It's just so frustrating. I think it's cos I've just been so used to being on my own and being able to do things my way and leave mess and stuff as long as I like. It's something I'll have to get used to but he could go about it all in a nicer way

Mrs Sam · 28-10-2011, 10:02 AM

When me and my then fiancé now husband first moved in together our arguements pretty much constantly revolved around cleaning.

It actually took quite a few years for us both to compromise enough so that we got past it.

Do you have a white board or something where you can both make lists of jobs that need doing that week then share them out? We ended up in a good routine in the end, I dusted and kept floors clean and did clothes washing and he Did the dishes and walked dog and kept his stuff tidy.

After probably a year pf the routine we kinda got into a more natural routine and didn't need it anymore.

I know a lot of my friends have had the same issues when moving in with partners so your not alone but I know how upsetting it can be. I've ended up in tears whilst doing jobs before!

staceyrawrcakes · 28-10-2011, 10:26 AM

Even if we write it down he still won't do it. I really don't know what to do. I've tried being nice about it, I've tried getting angry, said I would move out if the arguments carried on.
I leave him a couple of things to do so it's not all just me but he won't even do that. I asked him to take the dirty dishes downstairs yesterday cos we had an agreement when I moved in that I cook and he clears up after. But he just went to sleep instead. I know he has a hard job and everything but taking down a few plates isn't that hard.

roiben · 09-11-2011, 02:58 PM

Well, you have an agreement - if you cook, he takes down dishes.

Next time, don't cook.

*nod*

Roiben x