I'm sorry to have to make this thread, but I currently feel very voilated, vunerable & angry.
I just had a meeting & someone had decided to email my team at the hospital where I am right now to tell them I have been acting out on ED behaviuors behind thier back & have been writing on 'a blog' about it.
Whoever it was, I am deeply hurt they would go to such lengths, to dig out thier email address. Not only have they embrassed me, & invaded my privacy, but I am now being forced to leave this site because my username has been found out.
If you want to contact me further you can via FB.
Thank you all so much for your time, care & support over the years.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, you do not deserve that. please look after yourself. We will miss you. x
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
To be fair, this person did that for your own good. Every ED behaviour you repeat in hospital is another reason for them to believe that you don't want to accept the help, and there are people fighting for places in CH. It's not easy for us to sit and watch you continue with this behaviour when so many of us would love the chance to have a fresh start thanks to such a reputable ED unit.
They're only doing this to help you. Now it's up to you to either grasp this opportunity with both hands, or lose your life to anorexia.
Im so sorry that someone did that to you, a total abuse of trust, even if it was out of a misplaced attempt to 'help'. Really hope you dont have to leave the site and hope your treatment goes better. I know you can pull through and you totally and utterly deserve your inpatient place and help 100% even if trying to fight your ED is such a battle for you! Because it is such a battle and you might not feel you can or even want to get rid of your ED shows how much you need your inpatient place, dont let anyone make you feel guilty for having an inpatient place!!!!
You won't remember me, but I've commented on a couple of your threads before, and follow your threads. (I find it quite hard to speak to people I don't know)
I do have to agree with this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by [Frostbitten]
To be fair, this person did that for your own good. Every ED behaviour you repeat in hospital is another reason for them to believe that you don't want to accept the help, and there are people fighting for places in CH. It's not easy for us to sit and watch you continue with this behaviour when so many of us would love the chance to have a fresh start thanks to such a reputable ED unit.
They're only doing this to help you. Now it's up to you to either grasp this opportunity with both hands, or lose your life to anorexia.
Maybe it will be good for you to have some time away from RYL. It doesn't seem to be doing you any good right now. But don't write off the possibility of coming back - I'm sure you would be welcomed with open arms.
You're so talented, it shows through in your writing. Don't throw that away.
Please. Use this opportunity.
Last edited by Elmer : 07-09-2011 at 06:28 PM.
Reason: Removing irrelevance
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
To be honest, it feels like whoever it was that did this, did so because they are desperate. They did something so extreme because they probably care a great deal about you and they are terrified that you will die. I can understand you being upset by this, but I hope that when you calm down a bit, you will see that whoever did this, did this because if you carry on the way you are, you will die. You have so so many people on this site and elsewhere who care a great deal about you, a great great deal. I doubt this person has meant to cause you so much upset. It sounds like they care about you a hell of a lot. I know it must be hard for you to see this right now.
Take care of yourself. I hope you work with the ED team properly before it is too late. And if the person who emailed is a person from this website, then if you are reading this now, I also hope that you are okay and looking after yourself.
Take care Helen. You CAN beat this. I really hope that you will stay in the hospital and work with them. Thinking of you xxx
I can only echo frostbitten. To know what is going on, be someone who knows the person and is working at the hospital where they are getting treatment, I know in the United States, they would be found negligable and lose their job, license, and possibly face prison time if they did NOT report that this was going on.
If that is what is expected of a medical professional who only has the best interests of the patients in mind and doesn't even know them personally, I would think that that person's friends would think along the same line, assuming they were healthy, thinking rationally, and able to look at the situation from a realistic perspective.
I can only echo frostbitten. To know what is going on, be someone who knows the person and is working at the hospital where they are getting treatment, I know in the United States, they would be found negligable and lose their job, license, and possibly face prison time if they did NOT report that this was going on.
If that is what is expected of a medical professional who only has the best interests of the patients in mind and doesn't even know them personally, I would think that that person's friends would think along the same line, assuming they were healthy, thinking rationally, and able to look at the situation from a realistic perspective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by [Frostbitten]
To be fair, this person did that for your own good. Every ED behaviour you repeat in hospital is another reason for them to believe that you don't want to accept the help, and there are people fighting for places in CH. It's not easy for us to sit and watch you continue with this behaviour when so many of us would love the chance to have a fresh start thanks to such a reputable ED unit.
They're only doing this to help you. Now it's up to you to either grasp this opportunity with both hands, or lose your life to anorexia.
I agree with the above.
People are obviously still trying to help you. But you are still too self absorbed to see beyond just how it feels for you. It's astounding how ungrateful you still are about the lengths people go to for you.
And in fairness whoever did this probably felt, because they care about you, that they were in an impossible situation to hear all the lies you're spinning the staff, who are doing all there is possible in the world to offer you a way out, and not inform them of the truth. Because the truth is the only way out of this.
Now the staff know, they can, or rather, you can, make the choice. Do you continue or do you change.
I'm glad you are leaving for a bit, all you do is come on to say how bad things are or what you are throwing away right now and there's no point in that for anyone. The help you need is where you are now. If you want help, you'll work with CH. There is nothing on RYL for you when you are in an EDU and still not accepting their care.
Why would a team of medical staff listen to a random email sent from a random member of a random website?
If on placement any team I was with listened to these sort of emails, then I'd have patients under my care guilty of so many untrue things.
Theres no actual proof that you're doing what you say you are, apart from spouting it on a website, so sorry, they wouldn't have actually listened to that. If they'd caught you violating the rules thats very different.
I think you're just looking for
"Oh noes please don't go we love you please stay etc etc"
Last edited by Embles : 05-09-2011 at 10:12 PM.
Reason: Rewriting a sentence
We’ve got obsessions
I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week
We’ve got obsessions
You never tell me what it is that makes you strong and what it is that makes you weak.
^ I have to disagree somewhat due to my own experience, but posting if you really felt you needed to leave seems a bit backwards and therefore, I believe Boats and Birds has a valid point.
In the end though, as has happened before, people learn that you have mislead them and are not trying as hard as you could and will react as such.
Either they have listened to it, and rightly so, unless you'd like to say to us you have lied on RYL. Or they haven't and have naturally realised you're not making the effort needed based on their first hand experience with you.
It doesn't matter so long as they are in the picture alongside the truth.
What were you hoping for making this thread Helen? It seems a bit unclear.
Simply dont know what to say so maybe i shouldnt have posted at all.i dont know.
i send you my love as always.
xx xx
PS Thought of one thing to add - i know some have said above why would the hosp listen to such an email.i think your right and they may treat it sceptically.However some years back i was traced by the police because of concerns given by people from another website who had only known me online and someone from that website also managed to contact a member of my team once [dont ask me how....know they knew my rough area but dont know how they got that far] and it was listened to.i know the situations different though.
Last edited by Sleepless123 : 06-09-2011 at 12:19 AM.
Reason: To add a bit
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
They did something so extreme because they probably care a great deal about you and they are terrified thatyou will die.
This.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissAnonymous
People are obviously still trying to help you. But you are still too self absorbed to see beyond just how it feels for you. It's astounding how ungrateful you still are about the lengths people go to for you.
And this.
Why don't you just get a new account on here? if you live long enough to use it that is.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
I would think it would be irresponsible to not listen to such an email, if they gave the link and saw the writing themselves etc. I suspect they had half guessed themselves, things wouldnt have been adding up with weight and health etc. It would though also be irresponsible to believe anything said about anyone but they must have believed it to have a likely truth in it all. Whats better to ignore it and have her die from hidden ed behaviours or take steps to stop the behaviours?
You dont need to destroy yourself anymore, we all know you were good at that,
now retire from all that hard work you do
of bringing pain to those sweet eyes and heart
If the staff at CH didn't look into the validity and credibility of this e-mail they would not be doing their jobs and they could risk losing their jobs by ignoring the e-mail.
Whoever sent this e-mail could well have saved your life. They have informed CH of ED behaviours that you have been engaging in which you have not divulged yourself. Instead of being bitchy about this person I think you should be grateful that they took the time to do what they did.
Also, you do not know for sure that it was a member of RYL who sent this e-mail as you are also a member of other ED sites. Are you leaving them too and accusing one of the members on those sites of sending the e-mails? Or are you targeting RYL?
I think its good that you are leaving because you have gone on about the same things for years now. There is a common theme in ALL your threads and then when you get what you have been asking for, talking about, whinging about etc, you get the drift, you slag it off, don't work with the staff, con people etc.
Leave RYL and get a fresh start. Work with CH, talk to them, accept the help offered and ask for the help when you need it. I have a strong feeling you wont leave the other sites but thats your porogative.
Good luck
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
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