Wrote this in my journal too but I wanted to share. Hope it's not too indulgent of me.
I realised today just how far I have come in a year.
This time last year I was in an acute psychiatric ward for nearly 3 months with a crippling depression that led me to attempt suicide (will full intent) several times. I was unable to sit my Uni final exams for Veterinary Medicine, and ended up suspending my studies for a year. In this year I managed to do such a lot, and it really hit me today when I was talking to my sister
I have a part-time job
I moved out and live in a small terraced cottage on my own, and am loving it
I got a puppy, which is something I’ve wanted to do (but been nervous about) for the last 6 years. He’s called Reuben and he brings me so much joy every day. He’s well trained, sociable and incredibly good-natured. I’m proud of the way I brought him up.
I made some really close friends and have several hobbies which I really enjoy
From not opening up to anybody about my problems (over the last 8 years or so), I am now much more honest with my mum, sisters and my close friends. I have only ever received support and kindness from them.
And... I am sitting my exams! They start a week on Monday. I’m studying well but not too hard. I have learned moderation. I have learned that I don’t need to know everything. The pass mark is 50%; I don’t need to get 100%. Actually, even if I fail one of them, I consider it a huge accomplishment to even be sitting them. I would be disappointed, but I would be able to overcome it, take the re-sit exam, and pass it the second time round. And if I do pass this time? Well, I will very soon be a ‘real’ vet!
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am gradually coming to terms with what this means for my future.
I’m not going to lie and say that everything is perfect. I take a handful of pills every night and hate it. My anorexia is back and is, at times, a huge struggle.
But I think I can do it.
I’m so, so glad I didn’t die.
There are several people on here who stuck with me and have made a massive difference to my life, and I want to thank you. You know who you are.
I have a fantastic summer planned out with loads of things to look forward to after my exams.
I really feel like I have achieved a lot of good things from what was an extremely difficult situation.
Today I am proud of myself.
And it feels fantastic.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
SERENITY is my RYL mum.
SOLO is my RYL auntie.
SEFKA is my RYL daughter.
DAYS GONE BYE is my RYL sister.
JEFFERSON.MERIWETHER is my RYL son.
OLINESS is my RYL son.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Thanks all.
I'd forgotten I'd written this, and reading it over now (I've been feeling pretty awful recently) made me feel more positive.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
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