what to do *trigger*

[x-dying-inside-x]

I'm sorry i've not posted here in a long time but i could really do with some advise.

For over 6 weeks now i've gone back to my old ways of not eatting and purging again.

The thing is i'm loving it because i'm losing weight.

I admitted tonight to one of my best friends what was going on and she got really angry with me.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've gone back to my old ways but i'm getting a kick out of it.

[88shelz]

its not too late to change these behaviours again.
speak to your doctor and explain whats going on and find out what is triggering this to happen again.
its important that you remember that you have the control over this

[gettinghappy]

i wish i could give you advice but i cant. i'm in a similar situation. i was getting better but now i've relapsed. i want to be healthy though. maybe you should try reminding yourself that you're hurting you body when you restrict and purge.

[Kitkat :)]

You can stop before they get out of control sweetie, and you can lose weight but you gotta do it healthily... I don't want to see you become ill ):
I'm sorry that you feel the need to do it again.
I'd definitely speak to a doctor if I were you lovely.
Xxx

[x-dying-inside-x]

I feel really out of control i know it's been going on for less than two months but i've gone back to everything i used to do and it feels good.

I dont wanna hurt my friends you know the kitkat i love you all at college so much and you all mean the world to me but i feel like i've lost the control i had.

Two months ago i was healthy and i was getting used to the weight i had put on and then you come comes crashing down.

I'm going to try and get a doctors appointment on friday if i can if not i'll have to wait until next week.

I told my new care co ordinater today about it all and she is going to call me tomorrow to talk it through with me.

[Kitkat :)]

I know how it feels, when something like that grips you and makes you feel the way it does then it's really hard to come out of.
Firstly don't feel guilty about doing it, because it's going to make you want to carry on if you think that people are going to make you feel bad about doing it, because we're not. I just want you to know that I know you're in trouble but I'm not going to make you feel bad about it. In the past when I've felt guilty about SI'ing it's just driven me to do it more.
What do you think has changed in the last 2 months for you start purging again?
Hope it goes okay at the doctors and your new care coodinator helps
xxxx

[x-dying-inside-x]

my new care coodinator was really nice to me.
I've not been to the doctors yet im too scared, im just worried what he is going to say to me.
I spoke to Ama today and i can't see her for another two weeks because ive got soo much going on.
I don't know why i've gone back to my old ways.
It started that i wanted to lose a few lb's and its just got bigger from there.

[Kitkat :)]

It's good that she was nice to you (:
It'll be okay, can you get someone to go with you to the doctors to make it less scary?
The timing is like that with my therapist now too because now she's away all the time so there's huge gaps between the therapy sessions...
Hang in there lovely
xxxx

[x-dying-inside-x]

I could get someone to come with me but i'm just soo scared i dont think i can tell my doctor what is going on, he isn't a really understanding person and he can be horrible.