I think i'm better

jen-x · 03-06-2010, 07:20 PM

i have had a crazy year. been in and out of hospital with schizophrenia but now things finally seem to be on the up. It confuses me so much though because a part of me actually misses the psychosis. I miss being able to stay up all night. I miss the constant taunting of the voices. It was a noise and now it's too quiet.

The thing is is i am on injections now and they obviously seem to be working but i'm so tempted to stop them just to see what it was like before. I've almost forgotten what life was like and i want the old me back. I used to sleep maybe two hours a night, now with the injections it's more like ffourteen.

Also i know with getting better comes more responsibility. I have to do things like find work and get on with day to day tasks. I'm not ready for this.

I dont' know what i want from this post. just i guess, reassurance?

jen x

MrsCoulter · 03-06-2010, 07:40 PM

I hope you are getting better :) But don't worry if you happen to relapse or anything because we are all here for you :)

Sorry don't mean to sound like I am setting you up for a fall but I just want you to know we are all behind you xxx

88shelz · 03-06-2010, 09:13 PM

i think the independance and stability is the scariest thing about getting better. it leaves you feeling alone

Merc · 04-06-2010, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88shelz

i think the independance and stability is the scariest thing about getting better. it leaves you feeling alone

^^agrees

Zurg · 04-06-2010, 05:35 PM

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I've been relatively ok for a long while but i'm still so fragile that it takes very little to tip my world. With schizophrenia there is always that extra bit of vulnerability. WE can't do the same things other people can and we always have to feel whether something is too much or not, and then learn to allow ourselves to say no to things we can't handle.

It's wonderful you feel more stable

But this may very well be a lifelong struggle so you shouldn't expect yourself to just be able to go out and do everything that people who are well can do.

jen-x · 04-06-2010, 05:42 PM

Thank you so much for your kind replies guys, and in particular i think what zurg said rings so true for me. There are always going to be limits to what i can do and i have to forgive myself for that.