I went two years without SH, then slipped back in this last year. I have certain things which trigger me and wonder how they compare with yours.
. Loneliness - feeling I don't belong
. Not having a family
. Being retired - not part of the workforce
. Physical pain
. Tiredness
. People going behind my back or breaking confidences
. Late nights or irregular sleeping patterns because of things which have to be done
. Feeling I have done or said something stupid
. After losing my temper
. The backlog of housework - disgust with myself
. Sadness at losing my little pets
. Computer or printer breakdowns when I have a lot to do
Being behind in school sometimes triggers the depression, which triggers the feelings of SI. But really, I SI when I'm depressed most of the time (the scab picking is all the time, for no real reason) so I just don't really know what causes the depression.
Whenever my voices tell me that I have to purge the nano-machines that circulate in my blood stream.
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Fighting with my parents. Being alone. Sadness for whatever reason. Not being happy with how I look. Being tired but can't sleep. Something not going right.
Then there's things on movies, internet, songs, etc. But I won't get into too much detail.
loneliness
when my ED kicks into high gear
failure
pressure
rejection
racing thoughts
depression
things not going the right way when they've ben planned for months
getting lower then a B on anything
fighting with my mother
having people tell me I'm wrong for how I feel
having people tell me I'm wrong for having emotions
feeling numb
feeling "fake" (like I'm not real)
whenever the voices in my head get too loud
losing huge chunks of time and finding out that I've done things I normally wouldn't do (I have DID)
the overwhelming pressure to be better then what I am
the pressure to be perfect
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
Fighting, arguing, being insulted by my parents. A lot of it stems from my hatred/love for them.
Random comments, feeling like a failure in school
And the constant paranoia that people are judging everything I do or say.
I guess the depression would be a trigger too... but not all the time. It's more of a secondary trigger.
If someone ever says to you "You need to stop thinking so much," call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity and sheeple. Your mind is the most important tool you have. If you stop using it, it will atrophy.
- feeling sad
- feeling depressed
- feeling lonely
- when I am angry
- when I am numb
- when I am feeling useless
- when I am agitated and anxious
- when I don't get the job I apllied for (I feel useless, worthless and depressed for days)
- feeling like I am loser and a failure
- when I am disconnected from the world and from myself
- when I am stressed
- when I feel pressured by something or someone
- when I don't fit in
- when I need to vent, in need of an outlet
- when I am feeling morbid and acting impulsively
- sometimes, when I am drunk
- when I push myself too hard to do something and make it work
-when I have a sensorial overload
Last edited by hope.is.overrated : 05-04-2010 at 01:03 AM.
I write this alone on my bed; I've poisoned every room in the house; The place is quiet and so alone; Pretend there's something worth waiting for; There's nothing nice in my head The adult world took it all away; Wake up with same spit in my mouth; Cannot tell if it is real or not; I try and walk in a straight line An imitation of dignity- MSP - From despair to Where
I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does - The Smiths How Soon is Now
Feeling weak - lonely/useless/incapable
Feeling angry, very depressed or anxious
Feeling overwhelmed - uni/negative thoughts
Food - Binging mainly, but also not eating when I should
Substances - I get curious about whether it'll feel different
Social situations especially when I feel out of place
Boredom
When I'm numb and/or things don't seem real
When I feel trapped
The smell of blood
When I need to punish myself
There's probably more, I don't know
"Watch me fault her "you're living like a disaster". She said "kill me faster", with strawberry gashes all over"
when i feel alone, outcast, not realyy part of this word ,that wat i do is just wat my parents say for attention that i do it because i want to ,school,grades, freinds ,people bring it up when i hear them talking about it behind my back,name calling , empy felling,numb, thinking more about it when everything is ok and good just to stop the feeling and to stop feeling worse ,guilt,people with no cuts or scars and then happy nowing i will never be that ,
feeling like no one cares
if i feel like my husband is mad at me for something
when my husband is down about something and i feel like i should be able to help him, but can't
when i want to purge
when i get angry (with myself for getting mad at others...it always think it's my fault)
when i feel socially awkward or uncomfortable (i always think i sound and look like a moron when i talk to just about anyone)
Anything will trigger me if i'm in the wrong state of mind.
This is so true, but specifics can be...
- lonliness
- feeling low
- college pressure
- high expectations of self
- fear of future
- guilt
- ashamed of feelings for other people - sometimes hate self for being a lesbian/confused by one solitary guy
- tiredness
- depression
- physical pain (not PMT though...)
- bordom
- stress
- arguments with family/self
- feeling ugly/fat
- saying things that I shouldn't have
The sad thing is, is that I don't really need a trigger. I do it when I'm bored, when I feel like it, when I'm not doing anything, even when I'm perfectly happy. It's just something I automatically do.
Though I have terrible tempter, and I tend to not show myself any mercy when that comes about.
lonliness, no sense of belonging, feeling like people are laughing at me or don't want me around (or feeling like i've done something stupid), getting into situations that i can't get myself out of, knowing what a problem is but not being able to do anything about it and feeling trapped
- Stress
- Arguments with my family/boyfriend/friends
- General self-loathing
- That feeling that everything is pointless
- Anger
- Music about depression or self harm
- Eating too much
- Old memories
Tonight I'm alive just to say I love you to death.
-After eating chocolate or something fatty
-Anxiety
-Emptyness
-Physical Pain
-Feeling Irritated or annoyed
-Lonelyness
-Feeling inadaquete
-Feeling Fat
-Emotional Hurt
- Being letdown
-Thinking about self harm too much
-Sometimes no reason at all i just do it
It used to be loads of different things, but now its mainly
Anger
Knowing I cant do anything to help someone
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
