Sweetie, I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time at the moment. Do you know if there is anything that has triggered your current feeling of being overwhelmed? Do you think you could tell your treatment team how you are feeling, so that you have told someone in your support network?
Sunshine is right, it is incredibly difficult for anyone to get a job at the moment and it is in no way a reflection of you or how good or bad you are. Please try to hold on and not let it beat you up. I always have trouble getting jobs, so I know how dis-heartening it can feel. You will get there though.
I am proud of you, you say you have been struggling to get up and to college, but it sounds like you have still managed to make yourself go, even when you feel like you can not cope with it. I have been there, I know how much strength it takes to do that.
I am also glad you are being honest here about your urges to sh, and hope you have managed to distract yourself from them as much as possible. I know that is not always feasible, but I see a strength in you that you may not be able to see right now.
I am around if you need to pm me. Thinking of you.
*hugs*
Roiben x
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