Triggering (SI) - Am I really that messed up?

[zivalover16]

Today I had an appointment with the therapist. I wasn't myself and didn't really talk today and kept shrugging when she asked a question. After she asked me if I had cut since I last saw her and I said yes she started to once again talk about having a family session which I REFUSE to do. Then she started to talk about a more intensive therapy program because the cutting is worse (when I'm home it does). She asked if I wasn't stopping because I didn't want to or because I couldn't I told her a mix of both and she had me explain..... I feel like I'm such a messed up person specially since my therapist wants me to do a more intensive therapy. She gave me a short lecture about how I could get an infection and I couldn't really care about that. I just feel messed up and almost life a failure

[Sigma]

Needing some help isn't being a failure - I find that hard to believe as well, but it's true. Perhaps some more intensive help would be useful for you? If it means you feel better more quickly, wouldn't that be a good thing?

It doesn't mean you're a failure. It just means you need some extra help in the area of mental illness. (if that's what it's for, sorry if i'm assuming) it's no different than if you had cancer or diabetes. *hugs* i know it's hard to believe, but needing more intensive therapy doesn't mean you're messed up. it's ok to get help.

[zivalover16]

thanks..... If I'm still SI'ing next summer I'll talk to my parents and see... I'm doing slightly better and already have plans to work out with a friend when I go back to school.....I'm hoping that'll help....