Triggering (SI) - Bloody Cancer

[~Grace~]

5 years on and its still affecting our lives
it always will
no matter what we do or what we say its still there
it crops up when you least expect it
its there, just there
its going to ruin my sons life
it puts extra strain on us....on me
i hate it
we should be grateful and dont get me wrong...we are
but bloody hell when will the affects go away
education, ability with only one working arm, the get up and go that he should have........just ****ing everything!!
the more involved i try to become, the more i try to guide him as a parent the more triggered i become from the arguments or the lack of discussions

yes he has his life back.....oh it doesnt matter. I know what im trying to say but i cant get it out

im just so angry that it still affects us...me, as much as it does
i feel a failure as a parent
i feel ive failed him
and now i want to harm

[~Grace~]

it really shouldnt affect me the way it does
just one little thing and it brings all the images and feelings back again
just one conversation and im back there again
like its real time
i do have ptsd (complex)
its just one more thing to have to cope with
i am grateful
im scared now for moaning incase something bad happens and it brings it back
shouldnt have said anything
shouldnt have risked it

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Rowie, sorry, not in a great place right now but I am reading your posts and still think of you hun. Please pm me if you need a chat anytime hun.
xxx

[Mandimoo]

hun, of course it still affects you all. it's devastating to the whole family, friends - everyone when someone is diagnosed with cancer. yes you are lucky that he has come through it, but you have every right to be angry at this evil force that has left it's marks on your boy.

it could have been worse, but that doesn't mean that everything is perfect. he has his life, but his body was damaged by it you are all living with this damage and its effects on his life.

don't feel guilty for wanting more for him.
mand x

[Bitter_Angel]

Mandy said everything i could say.
Its ok to feel angry.

[Mandimoo]

see it's official. you are allowed these feelings. stop feeling bad for thinking them. mand x