Triggering (SI/ED) - Honesty...... *suicide tigg also*

[finding.my.wings]

how do i do it- how do be honest and truthful?
how do i say the words so they understand 'that i just cant do it anymore'? that i cant find the light anymore.
how do i ask for help- when im the helper.................. always?

theres so much going on- how come it all came at once. i know im not okay and i know that in order to help others i have to help me first but i honestly dont know how- ive always been the stong one, the one who helps others, the one whos always ok.

the truth is i dont want to die- but i dont want to live this way either- i want to be free. (i think).

my SI has got worse...., eating has got worse and i have ideas. im scared but not not enough to call psych services. i dont want to end up in hospital- not like my parents. i want to be okay- i dont want to be the person who needs help.

pretty please can i have some hugs and support.

[GrimmFaerieTale]

**Hugs**

Well done for admitting you need to help yourself first, that can be really hard. Who are you helping at the moment? Would you be able to just take a couple of steps back and distance yourself from them to help yourself? How are you supporting them?

[lozza]

I'm so sorry that things have been so tough lately.
I think its great you have acknowledged you need help though that is the first step and most often the hardest... am proud of you:)

I know how easy it is to get into the cycle of helping others and putting them before yourself... is it possible to maybe have a chat to those that you are helping... maybe let them know that you dont feel able to be there for them as much right now because you need help also at the moment? ....just an idea

sorry this reply is ****.

your not alone though hunni and I am always here if you wana chat.

xxx

[finding.my.wings]

thanks.
i help everyone else around me- freinds/flatmates/ neighbours. its silly helping others is what i do and have always done.

[GrimmFaerieTale]

Whilst it's great you can help other people, it's so important that you are able to take time for yourself as well. There is no point helping others at the expense of yourself. Could you take maybe a week or however long just for yourself? Don't take on anything for anyone else, just concentrate on yourself? Have some lie-ins, nice baths, read a book you want to read. Then after however long, just take on a couple of things? Just something small, only what you *know* you can manage and more importantly *want* to manage?

xXx

[Dangerous Dave]

Well done for wanting to be honest. I have felt that way in the past. If you tell your GP you need help and cooperate with the mental health services, it's unlikely you'll have to go to Hospital (unless you get really ill). Try doing something for yourself, as others have suggested, e.g. go the pictures, get one of your favourite takeaways (so you don't have to cook) one night.
I would recommend telling your GP. He will be able to assess how bad you really are. Tell him you want to stay out of Hospital. Good luck.