Leaving Scott/Light My Candle (cussing, features beer...)
I will never come back, that’s a promise. I told myself that as I crammed every possession that I owned and had not managed to sell into my old beat up piece of **** of a vehicle. I had promised my self that I would save up enough to get out of this shitty town, and I finally did, so here I was, having said goodbye to everyone I knew, except him. I was hoping to avoid goodbye, taking the coward’s response. Turns out, he wouldn’t let me. He was the hardest to let go of.
I didn’t want to trust him at first, but he took my hand and told me I didn’t have the option, he was going to love me anyhow. We knew our friendship was special. Light My Candle was written about us. He protected me even when he didn’t have the right or the ability to. He’d try to protect me from myself if he could. I just wouldn’t let him.
There’s so much of myself that I wouldn’t let him know, but he fought and eventually I let him in. I don’t let people in that often, but when I do, it’s special. And I never regretted it, but I didn’t want to sting him with goodbye. I sighed and turned around after packing up the last box into my car, and there he was, 40oz in his hand, just like I remember from the beginning. “Oh, Scott…” I just stood there, not walking toward him.
Neither was he. I don’t think we knew what to say. Leaving sounded so horrible now; after seeing the look in his eyes I briefly considered saying **** it, and staying. He walked over to me slowly, but surely, and he was looking down but I could see the tears in his eyes. Stop it, Scott, you’re going to make me cry, I said silently.
I did start crying as he wrapped his arms around me. “Oh, Scott it’s not so bad,” I reasoned. “Now you and Adie have a nice vacation spot whenever you want!” He pulled away and shrugged. “I’m not even going to miss you the most. It’s the guys.” I saw the tough wall go up immediately. Yeah, right, Scott.
“Greg won’t answer his phone,” I offered. “Yeah. I don’t think he’s taking it so well.” I sighed, kicking myself mentally for bonding with this group before leaving town. “Stop acting like you’re never going to see me again, whimpass, you are. Very ****ing soon. And I’ll call you when I get to the hotel tonight.”
He nodded his approval. “You ****ing better.” I couldn’t take it anymore. “Scott, I need to leave. I can’t handle this.” He understood, so we had one more long hug with tears, and I was gone, speeding off into the sunset. I watched him out the rearview mirror.
He just watched, then took a huge swig of his warm-by now beer. I sighed. I know he’s gonna be whiskey-drunk when I call him tonight.
I will never come back, that's a promise. I told myself that as I crammed every one of my possessions that I had not managed to sell into my old, beat up piece of shitt of a vehicle. I had promised myself that I would save up enough to get out of this shitty town, and I finally did. So here I was. I had said goodbye to everyone, except him. I was hoping to avoid goodbye, taking the coward's approach. Turns out, he wouldn't let me.
I didn't want to trust him at first, but I didn't have the option; he was going to love me anyhow. We knew our friendship was special - Light My Candle was written for us. He protected me even when he didn't have the right or ability to. He'd try to protect me from myself if he could. I just wouldn't let him.
There's so much of myself that I wouldn't let him know, but with his persistence, I let him in. I don't let people in that often, but when I do it's special. And I never regretted it, but I didn't want to sting him with goodbye. I turned around after packing up the last box into my car, and there he was, 40oz in my hand, just like I remember from the beginning. I just stood there.
I don't think we knew what to say. Leaving sounded so horrible now; after seeing the look in his eyes I briefly considered saying **** it to the whole plan and staying. He walked over to me slowly, and he was looking down but I could see the tears in his eyes. Stop it, I said silently. You're going to make me cry.
And I did cry as he wrapped his arms around me, "Oh, come on. It's not so bad," I reasoned. "Now you and Adie have a nice vacation spot whenever you want." I was trying to convince myself of that, more than him. He pulled away and shrugged. "I'm not even going to miss you the most. It's the guys." I saw the tough wall go up. Yeah, right.
"Greg won't answer his phone," I offered. "Yeah, I don't think he's taking it so well." I kicked myself mentally for bonding with this group. "Stop act like you're never going to see me again, whimpass. You are. Very soon. I'll call you when I get to the hotel tonight."
"You ****ing better." I couldn't take it anymore. "I need to leave. I can't handle this." He understood, so we hugged one more time, tears dropping onto each other's t-shirts, and I was gone, watching my odometer rise as the sun dipped below the mountains. I looked in my rearview mirror and there he was.
He just ewatched, then took a huge swig of his warm beer. I sighed, knowing he'd be whiskey-drunk when I reached the first hotel.
