Adult - Celibacy?

-Asphyxia- · 10-06-2009, 10:59 PM

Has anyone here chosen to be celibate (not necessarily for religious reasons)?

I'm just curious, because I've been thinking about it a lot lately...

Merc · 11-06-2009, 02:19 AM

Wasn't sure i should reply because , no, i woul dnever consider it. I'm lucky enough to be in a wonderful marriage and i can't imagine not making love to each other....not that it makes the relationship but because we both enjoy it so much.
I guess it depends the reasons why...if its done out of fear of being hurt then i can of course understand it, but i think that could *potentially* create a whole new set of problems...
Sorry..useless reply...
romp

Crysainta · 11-06-2009, 06:05 AM

I didn't have sex for the first time until I was 23, so I suppose you could say I was celibate in the time before that. Some people find it beneficial, as they are able to focus more on other things. I think it depends on your relationship with sex, though. You could try it and see if it works for you. It's not like you'd be forced to stick to it if you found it unpleasant.

demonicsoul · 11-06-2009, 03:44 PM

nowadays i could never imagine being celibate, though i can see the benefits. like others have said it really depends on what your relationship wth sex is. when i was younger i slept with alot of people just because i wanted to feel someone close to me (it was a self esteem issue i think) but in that case i think i may have been better off celibate. Though as long as your reasons behind having sex arent destructive in anyway i dont see a need for celibacy to be honest.

Ratatouille strychnine · 12-06-2009, 10:58 PM

I think ultimately it is a real shame to go through life and miss one of the most fundamental life experiences. Sex is a natural, healthy and rewarding thing. If for whatever reason who are never in a situation where it is possible or never find yourself able or willing, that is one thing. To rigidly enforce a self-imposed rule to remain celibate is very different, though.

Becca · 14-06-2009, 08:51 PM

I am celibate and always have been.

Basically sex does nothing for me at all. It never has done. Despite various people saying it must be because I was attacked, it isn't. I was exactly the same before. It simply does nothing for me.

I don't find it a problem at all, but maybe that is because to me it is natural to be celibate?

Like others I think you should look at your reasons for thinking about it.

lamestate · 16-06-2009, 08:42 PM

It's been suggested to me that I should go celibate for a bit.

Probably right, I've been having a lot of sex with not nice people for all the wrong reasons recently, so it may be a positive thing.

It's hard though, I don't fancy it at all.

-Asphyxia- · 17-06-2009, 04:01 AM

My reasons for considering it.....Well, in all honesty, I have serious guilt issues with sex or sexual acts. I always feel bad/guilty about it the next day, even if I am in a relationship with that person...Also, I was sexually assaulted in September of 2008, and for quite awhile after that, I had no contact w/anyone...After a bit of time, I slept with 2 people (who I had dated in the past) b/c I was really drunk...Since the assault, I have messed around w/a few people (randoms and friends) also when intoxicated.

*sigh*

I think part of me feels guilty about messing around w/people and that I should just not allow myself to have that portion of...what is part of being human. IDK if that makes sense? I also feel like if I deny myself of that, I won't feel the guilt or shame of being w/someone.

As far as masturbation goes, I have no problem w/that, and I find it more...um, satisfying...compared to being w/someone. I don't want to deny myself of complete sexuality, just the whole being w/another person part...

Ugh. I'm a little embarassed. Sorry.

Sigma · 17-06-2009, 01:02 PM

Perhaps rather than decide on celibacy, you could think about the circumstances under which you might want to have sex? Which might be more about the relationship you want, not the sex, if you see what I mean?

From what you said, you're not happy with the 'messing about' bit, but deciding causal sex doesn't do it for you isn't the same as becoming celibate. It's about having realised what you want/need in life, you can still be open to the possibility of sex once you have a close and trusting relationship.

But if you feel it would be a problem no matter what the circumstances, because you'd feel too guilty, perhaps seeing a counsellor might help you to untangle that a bit?

zivalover16 · 18-06-2009, 11:52 PM

I guess you could say I'm celibate.....I'm still a virgin and honestly (besides the fact I've never has a girlfriend) wanna wait till I find the right girl.....Call me an old fashion lesbian or whatever but I just think it means more if you do it with someone who means a lot (hope that doesn't sound wrong and offend anyone :) )

Delicate Faerie · 30-06-2009, 06:01 PM

I think it can be a good thing. If it's right for you then go for it.

I have been celibate now for 6 months by pure choice. I split up with someone in November, had a one-night stand in December and I then decided I needed some me-time to get my head straight, and I have ever since. The moment has come up to have sex but I wasn't interested.... but now 6 months on... I feel like I'm ready to get involved again. Did me the world of good.

abba12 · 08-07-2009, 02:54 AM

Both my fiance and I decided to remain celibate until marriage, which is coming up soon. Apart from the occasional lustful thought towards each other, or earlier on towards another person, we haven't regretted it. Perhaps if you're having giult issues this is the right path for you? Leaving it until it's a very serious relationship or marriage?

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk