scared

Rain Keeper · 10-06-2009, 06:51 PM

I wrote this long post and then figured it was unfair. so i deleted the whole thing. sorry for asking.

I just feel my life sliping away to the urges to do damage.

I dont belong. anywhere.

i wish i was doing as good as i act.

Rain

Pomegranate · 10-06-2009, 09:55 PM

You do belong. Please post if it would help x

Merc · 11-06-2009, 02:07 AM

post....we can try to help...at least listen and understand.
thinkin gof you
love
romp

wildly insane · 11-06-2009, 09:27 AM

We're here for you and you do belong, let us try and help, hugs, Hannah

realflifefaerie · 11-06-2009, 09:29 AM

I agree with above, if it helps then post.
And don't be sorry for posting.

xxx

crazykat · 11-06-2009, 09:32 AM

You do belong Rain, please post we are here for you

~Grace~ · 11-06-2009, 10:34 AM

Rain...where are you?
Please keep posting if it will help
Thinking of you xx

shadowedseraph · 11-06-2009, 01:39 PM

Rain, we are here and we are listening, here you dont have to act you can just be

Rain Keeper · 11-06-2009, 06:44 PM

thank you for your replies. i read and wonder about it. i thank you.

i toyed around last night with "them"
I left them in my car so they wouldnt be found.
no cutting. not a burn yet.
i have contacted my counsellor. with the graphic image i have, she is worried. i explained myself.

i crave it like i think one would crave a cigarette. just one more. to congradulate myself. to ease the tension. to make me realize where i have come from. stupid thinking you say. i know. add that one to my reason why as well.

holed in my shell again. a familiar quietness resounds. one more hour. one more tick. the voice tells me it will be ok. i went down and opened the package. that method won me over late last year. proof is in the road maps on my arms. the voice is telling me it is ok. it will be ok after work. it is going to be just fine.

shadowedseraph · 12-06-2009, 09:54 AM

Rain try and keep yourself safe ok? i dont have many words as my head is a mess but please try and be safe

crazykat · 12-06-2009, 01:14 PM

Keep fighting Rain, you are strong and you can and will get through this. We are all here to support you through this. Take care
Kat xxx

Rain Keeper · 12-06-2009, 06:49 PM

made it so far. left items somewhere else. I told my counselor i would hold off for one more day. it is just 11 more hours now >.<

Thank you for your support!

~Grace~ · 12-06-2009, 07:22 PM

Am proud of you Rainy
Youre doing so well, keep on fighting xxxx

shadowedseraph · 12-06-2009, 08:05 PM

Rain you are doing so well, just take it one day at a time

crazykat · 12-06-2009, 11:52 PM

Proud of you Rain, you are doing so well :)

Rain Keeper · 13-06-2009, 04:44 AM

1 hour 16 minutes to go.

going to knock myself out for the next 8 hours.

sound like plan to make it through the night and morning.

ambien is great according to some

sleep rain sleep

crazykat · 13-06-2009, 09:17 AM

I hope you managed to get some sleep there Rain, hope your feeling a bit better today *hugs*

shadowedseraph · 13-06-2009, 01:13 PM

Hey Rain, i hope today is a better day for you *gentle hugs*

ThinkingofRecovery · 13-06-2009, 01:32 PM

Hope you managed to get some sleep.

You managed to speak to your counsellor to discuss the urges, that was a good move.

You are doing amazingly well.

Please post away hun.