... there should be a ban on asking for advice if you're not going to take it.
Particularly in relation to the first aid section.
Now, obviously we don't all take the advice we're given regarding emotional problems etc, but people post in the first aid forum wanting medical advice and it f*cks me off when they ignore it.
If someone has OD'd, they know that the advice from the FAA is to go to the hospital, yet a couple of posts down it's all 'i can't go to the hospital, mom will find out' or something or another.
Why post?
There is nothing a FAA advisor can do about it if you're too stubborn to go to the hospital.
It seems to be as it's increasingly becoming another way to tell members how woe they are, letting them know they have OD'd.
First Aid Advice should only be given to those who will follow it.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
Hmm it could possibly be implemented on the first aid board and I'd fully support that being introduced. It's very unfair when people worry other people that they are dangerously ill and then refuse to do anything to help themselves. Pity it couldn't work on the other boards.
It's like I get hacked off with people going "oh woe is me, my life's so awful, I'm all alone and no one understands, I want to die". And then you ask have they reached out for help in the real world, have they tried different options. And it makes me feel a bit like, well if you wont help yourself what do you expect anyone else to be able to do for you! Suicide should be the last option after you've exhausted everything else. Nothing worth having comes easy and I think that's especially true of good mental health.
The first aid board would be a good start.
Incidentally this is why I rarely offer support to anyone that I don't know anymore.
I'm sick of wasting my energy on people who refuse to listen.
Chat is also as annoying as hell when it comes to this.
There was a prime example last week, and it wasn't even for emotional support - just advice regarding schooling and who to talk to etc.
I can see your point, but I know for me (other than things immediately likely to cause death like serious overdoses) I want advice on what I can do to help my body cope etc Without going to the doctor's/hospital. If someone says that is what I have to do then I will accept that but I like to know all the options when I am too afraid to approach medical staff for help because sometimes I just plain can't go, and want to know how to do damage limitation.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
I find it very frustrating and upsetting too, but I also think it would be impossible to implement it as a rule. There would be so much grey area, for instance whether people were being given the right advice, what if the advice backfired, what if someone had the intention of getting help but backed out half way through etc.
I don't know, I just think there would also be a lot of people pissed off if it became a rule. I have various views on the use of the first aid forum which I won't go into as we've discussed it so many times, but what I think is relevant is why people ask for advice when they won't take it, and intend from the start not to take it.
On one hand, I do think some people post as Katy has said, to find out if there is anything they can do without seeking medical attention.
I know I have posted when I haven't had a clue how to help myself (for instance burning for the first time) and every time that I have been asked to see help outside the internet, I have done so.
What I think is causing this thread to come up is people not using the FA Board (or indeed RYL) in the spirit it is provided in. I think people use the FA Forum to inform friends indirectly about what they have done to themselves, for attention if you will. People won't like me saying that, but I Think it's important to recognise why people do this (and not everyone does it for this reason I completely understand) and try to work out how we can help.
Possibly here we could encourage the use journals more? Make them more well known? Maybe have a journal in the spotlight in the eZine? I'm not sure.
It is really difficult when you're trying to offer advice to someone and they keep just dismissing your suggestions and refusing to consider them as a possibility. I agree with Fallen Rain, perhaps if people are needing to vent or let people know what has happened, they could use the journals section or just post in one of the other sections. It can be quite off-putting to have people constantly brushing off your suggestions, it probably puts quite a few people off replying to posts...
Sorry, I know I'm quite new and not well known yet, but these are just my thoughts :)
I dont think this should be banned. Some people are looking for harm reduction without having to go to hospital because of various reasons.
I have *ignored* peoples advice in the past and now im trying to not do it and take on board advice by people who maybe able to see the experience more clearerly than me, because being on the other end it can get infuriating and i just end up thinking "why bother".
but sometimes people are in a bad blace, and just looking for hugs as opposed to advice. I dont think this should be banned but i understand how it can be annoying.
xx
The overdose posts are the worse though because 9 times out of 10 it will be the "oh i cant go to hospital" excuse. If people overdose then they know they have to go to hospital, not sit at a computer and complain that they cant. All anyone can do is tell them to go because any other adivse such as how to limit the effects would be against the rule.
I dont think im not the only one who thinkes thoese type of posts are just for attention.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I hate the "But what if people are in a bad place?" excuse. That's rubbish. We are all in a sh*t place at sometime or other, but we don't go onto the First Aid board to boast about an overdose or how many stitches we've recently had. There are many other ways to let others know you're doing badly - the Serious Board is for people who are struggling. But i don't believe in "I've cut like reaaalllllyyy deep and it won't stop bleeding" or "I've taken XXX amount of tablets" because it just puts other members in awkward positions and makes them worry unnecessarily.
This is exactly why i don't see the point of the First Aid board. I know i've said it before but i just don't see the point. Even if people who have overdosed PM a First Aider, they could be lying about the amount they've taken so the FAA gives them reasons to why they need to get treatment ASAP which can lead to tip sharing (i.e. "That amount of XXX can cause XXXX problems and could be fatal").
The articles are pretty clear on what to do in situations on burns/wounds, i understand if someone has burnt for the first time or cut for the first time them panicking and posting - i CAN understand that. But half the time it's either the same people posting about doing the same thing, or people just point blank refusing to get outside help.
People don't seem to realise on this website that without someone physically checking you out for broken bones or blood tests or knowing your records they aren't able to do much at all. The board is focused on SI/OD's but now there are articles what's the point of the board?
Why not just still keep the FAA's, but do a PM / Live Help type program instead of having a board?
All this combined is why i no longer go on the first aid board, or atleast i very rarely go on because the posts make me want to pull my hair out as 80% of people refuse to take any advice given to them.
i think its a good idea but in the end of the day it would be hard to keep and it would be hard to know what was being taken and not taken.
like i know a couple of people on the old versions (not on this version) that would say they werent going to the hospital and then they go to hospital.
sometimes its just about letting someone know how bad your feeling because sometimes its hard to tell people who can properly help you in the real world away from here.
but yeh good idea but not sure in practice it would work
Well, I have posted in the past asking for 'damage limitation' kind of things, because often I know what would cure my health, but it's not really that simple. I've also posted because I've felt really terribly ill from my ED but not wanted to go and get checked out by a health professional and had nobody to talk to about it, and nobody to reassure me.
Regarding ODs, I suppose there is a valid point. I would go to hospital if I had taken enough of an OD to warrant that, and I wouldn't dither about posting on the first aid board.
I don't know.. This reply is kind of badly worded. I have mixed feelings.
People who post about obviously serious circumstance such as overdoses are probably seeking attention, sympathy, validation, whatever because frankly it is quite obvious that it is a medical situation not for a first aider over a computer screen.
Bad place or not - the person reading it is likely to be in a bad place also. Its unfair to place so much pressure on a person to help you when they are probably struggling themselves and then not even take the advice given, leaving everyone feeling completely helpless.
It's frustrating in any board to give advice that is not taken - that is met by constant stream of "yeah, but..."
Trouble is how can you stop it realistically? All you can really do is hope that the person who posts is seriously looking for advice and is going to take what is given.
We remove the First Aid Board completely, and have a system like Live Help that the First Aid Advisors Run themselves, and people are still open to PM, and they can have an email for themselves (firstaid@recoveryourlife.com or whatever).
This way:
a) You wouldn't have the problem of people posting just because they're suffering and they KNOW they need medical attention.
b) You wouldn't have members of RYL giving the wrong advice (which does happen).
c) People can go directly to the FAA's.
Also - some of the things people ask on the FA Board are things that can be asked in the SI forum or the General Advice Forum, about scars etc.
And the articles are there for everything anyway.
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