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Old 26-08-2020, 05:49 PM   #1
xlaurenx
 
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Help please.

I have been dealing with urges to od since last night. Their getting stronger and i am really worried i will act on the thoughts. Currently on hold to crisis

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Old 26-08-2020, 07:23 PM   #2
Sailor
 
Join Date: Sep 2011

Hi,
I'm sorry things are feeling so rough. I know how awful and frightening OD urges can be. I hope you've managed to get through to crisis by now. Have they been able to help at all?
Are there other things that have helped you stay safe in the past that you could try now too?

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Old 26-08-2020, 10:15 PM   #3
xlaurenx
 
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I ended up oding and i am now in a and e.
The nurse said she will call security to bring me back if i leave as she is worried about me. Fucking piss take!

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Old 26-08-2020, 11:53 PM   #4
forever_blonde
 
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Sweetheart... sending love. Look after yourself and I hope you get support and feel better x




I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I changed my life forever
Now I know I deserve better

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Old 27-08-2020, 07:05 PM   #5
Sailor
 
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It's awful that things got so bad, but I'm glad that you were able to get to hospital and get medical attention, although it sounds like you felt really frustrated at having to stay there. I hope you're getting the support that you need too.
How are things today?

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Old 28-08-2020, 12:58 PM   #6
xlaurenx
 
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I am really struggling not to od again. Yes i didnt want to stay but threaten security and shit. A and e mh thought i was under home treatment but i was discharged from them last week. So apart from crisis team and a appt next week i habe nothing.

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Old 28-08-2020, 01:50 PM   #7
xlaurenx
 
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Phoned crisis.. spoke to them there going to speak to someone about home treatment again. And that if i feel really unsafe go back to a and e....

I really dont want to do anything again but its almost like i cant control it

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Old 28-08-2020, 07:42 PM   #8
Sailor
 
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This just sounds so hard going, and perhaps pretty scary to feel like od'ing is not quite in your control. It's good that you've kept on contacting crisis and asking for more support though. I really hope they come up with something that can help. Is home treatment something that's been useful before?

This might be a weird question, but do you have any ideas about what you might be needing/wanting to get from od'ing?
I hope that doesn't sound judgy - I just mean that I know for me sometimes figuring out what the underlying need that I'm trying to get fulfilled through od'ing is (like wanting to communicate how seriously awful things are, for example, which is one of the big ones for me) can help me find another way of meeting the need, rather than actually od'ing.
It might not be the same for you though. And it might be that right now things are too difficult for it to be possible to think about that sort of thing anyway. I know constant urges can be really tortuous.
Thinking of you!

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Old 28-08-2020, 10:26 PM   #9
xlaurenx
 
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Thanka for the reply. I think it is a way of saying i am really really struggling.

Im back in a and e as a place of safety.

Im so so anxious.

Waiting to see mental health.

The last time i was here. Wednesday night a staff member asked why i took the od. And if i wanted to od i know what to take. :(

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Old 29-08-2020, 01:39 AM   #10
Pomegranate
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How’s it going in a&e?





*Proud Plumeria Sister*







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Old 29-08-2020, 01:55 AM   #11
xlaurenx
 
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Back home now thank god! Said at the moment their just crisis managing me

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Old 29-08-2020, 02:29 AM   #12
Pomegranate
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Was going to a&e helpful? Have they suggested any longer term support for you like a DBT refresh or STEPPS or anything? Glad you’re home though and hopefully you’ll be able to get some sleep.





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Old 29-08-2020, 02:40 AM   #13
xlaurenx
 
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Yeh it was. Kept me safe which is what i needed. I have an aopt for poss dbt next friday. So there crisis managing me til then. Head still wont shut up

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Old 29-08-2020, 08:01 PM   #14
xlaurenx
 
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Being distracting most of the afternoon... on hold to crisis. Really struggling.

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Old 30-08-2020, 03:01 PM   #15
Sailor
 
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Sorry not to have been around - I'm struggling some too and low on words at the moment.
Od'ing being a way to say that you're really struggling makes total sense, and I'm very glad you were able to go to A&E and stay safe that night.
Sounds like it's still really hard going though. Have crisis been of any help?

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Old 30-08-2020, 03:12 PM   #16
xlaurenx
 
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I actually endes up back in a and e last night for another od.

Crisis have been yes

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Old 31-08-2020, 01:14 PM   #17
one_step_closer
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I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Going to A&E every time you feel like this is dangerous and I'd really urge you to find a safe way to communicate when you get to that point. They might be able to find you some better treatment, whatever you need.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 13-09-2020, 09:30 PM   #18
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How are things now for you?



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 14-09-2020, 10:46 AM   #19
xlaurenx
 
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Erm.... okay actually . For once

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Old 14-09-2020, 02:28 PM   #20
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That’s great :)



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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