Actually my not-exactly woes

[tamobhuuta]

What I've got so far

This week I've had far fewer voices
Quantum theory means this might be the universe where I can't fly
Poverty of spirit might mean I should give up my right/gift of flying
= does this all mean I shouldn't try to fly?

Concentration - I'm finding it difficult to read and sometimes watch TV

Motivation - I do want to fly but often i am so tired i wouldn't immediately go through with it

Voices - I've only had voices a couple of times and they've been less focused on flying

Beliefs - i still believe I can fly

Plans - go to BH because i still couldn't climb the car park fence with my sore foot.

[one_step_closer]

Is your plan still to try and fly then?

[tamobhuuta]

I don't know. I'm so tired...

[tamobhuuta]

Things I would SAY are more important to me than flying

Prayer/my relationship with God
Mass
Being a Carmelite
Family
Friends
Staying safe
Getting out of hospital

So why am I so stubborn?

Edit
I have copied out this list and propped it where I will see it.

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad you made that list, keep looking at it. I'd say those things were way more important than something that isn't possible and could really hurt you no matter how much you believe in it.

[tamobhuuta]

How do I get the thoughts of flying to leave me alone?

[Auror.]

for us it's less about getting unwanted thoughts to go away and more about accepting that they will come, but we don't have to give them any power or act on them.

[one_step_closer]

I agree with Camden and by doing those things it could potentially lead to a lessening of the thoughts of flying.

[tamobhuuta]

Thanks for the advice Auror and osc :)

[tamobhuuta]

From what the ward manager said the psych will be looking at changing the aripiprazole, but it all depends on bloods.

[one_step_closer]

What's your thoughts about that?

[tamobhuuta]

I don't know. I've got to get out of here.

[one_step_closer]

Every day that goes past is getting closer to you getting home. You just have to work with the staff and be honest with them. They won't want to keep you in for longer than is necessary. I really hope you can get home soon.

[tamobhuuta]

I had my ward rounds. They were running on time! The consultant was unavailable. The clozapine levels haven't come back yet. The deputy doctor said they are thinking of amisulpride. He is going to speak to the consultant about leave when he gets a chance. This might not be this week depending on the length of today's meeting because he doesn't work Fridays.

[Cacoethes]

Clozapine and amisulperide can be a really good combo. Apparently they are often used together. Was really good when I was on them. Only had to come off because of my bloods.

Sorry you are having to wait so long for everything!

[tamobhuuta]

The doctor said the bloods have to be sent to London!

Thanks for your meds knowledge :)

[Cacoethes]

That's random! Hopefully they won't be too much longer!
I know it can be anxiety provoking and inconvenient to wait

[tamobhuuta]

Mum thinks I've been on amisulpride with clozapine before and it was helpful but she can't remember why I came off it.

[one_step_closer]

Maybe they'll have a note of it somewhere. I hope it's a combination that you're ok to go back on and it helps.

[tamobhuuta]

I think i need to fly.