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Old 02-05-2021, 07:39 PM   #581
Iamcatbug
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When she says next week do you mean as in the week starting tomorrow or the week after?

Have you told her via email that you don't think you can wait that long?

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Old 02-05-2021, 07:47 PM   #582
Darkwings44
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i dont know

...no....

a song i found that somewhat tells what i feel.......

https://youtu.be/HB7We-iDuC4



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
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Old 02-05-2021, 11:34 PM   #583
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Why don’t you ask?

If you don’t communicate with them, they can’t help!

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Old 03-05-2021, 04:47 PM   #584
Darkwings44
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i did ask what day and time but she hasn't responded to my email yet................



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 05-05-2021, 01:10 AM   #585
Darkwings44
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its too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EVERYTHINGS TOO MUCH!!!!!!! i need to attempt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 05-05-2021, 08:41 PM   #586
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i failed!!!!



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 05-05-2021, 08:54 PM   #587
Greyscale
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Are people at your group home and/or your therapist aware of what's happened? If not, it's really important to tell them.

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Old 05-05-2021, 09:07 PM   #588
Darkwings44
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no....... i tried to do it and failed because i was in the far back of the car (i didnt think of this when i planed it) i couldnt get out and no one saw me......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 05-05-2021, 10:33 PM   #589
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just watched a Christian video about how gay people cant be Christian and how its a sin to be gay....... i cant not be gay............. i really really extremely hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!! am i just born to be a sin?



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 07-05-2021, 02:07 AM   #590
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today i got my mom a perfect mothers day card for her and a bag of her favorite candy................ im going to go to lunch with her tomorrow i feel like shit though........... but its for her....so im going to have fake happy my way through the day..... i hate me so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CANT I JUST DIE!!!!!!!!whats the point of living if i have to feel so much pain and depression!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 07-05-2021 at 02:13 AM. Reason: added more info


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 07-05-2021, 03:28 AM   #591
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Do you know when you’re seeing your therapist?

I think that’s very sweet of you re your Mum and her card etc . I hope you have a nice time with her.

Re being gay and Christianity....tbh it’s really complicated theological subject and I don’t think there is a ‘right or wrong’. Even religious leaders have different opinions. Perhaps it might help to think about the following:

Are we created by God?
What does God say about judging people?

I’m pretty sure the basics are that whilst people have free choice, they are created by God and God says we shouldn’t judge other people, and those who believe in God and seek forgiveness will receive it due to
the sacrifice made by Jesus?





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Old 07-05-2021, 09:53 PM   #592
Darkwings44
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she just called me...................it didnt go well........... i did try to start to tell her about my attempt but stopped and told her "nevermind!!!!!" because she would have to tell the staff and the boss of the group home about it.....

thank you i actually did have a great time with her!!!

......thank you...........


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 07-05-2021 at 09:54 PM. Reason: added more info


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 07-05-2021, 10:22 PM   #593
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You feel crappy right now?

If your therapist did speak to group home, what’s the worst that could happen?





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Old 07-05-2021, 10:37 PM   #594
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somewhat......... after i spent sometime with my mom and she said that she was going to cry by reading my card (happiness cry) and i knew that i did a good job at making sure she knew that i loved her and appreciated her for being my mom i felt better but i still feel like life has no point to fight for life because of other people who want nothing more then me dead or hurt (talked to them shortly after my mom left)( no one knows they contacted me deletled what they said but i still remember what they said)

no computer and or kicked out because of going IP is not allowed to happen......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 09-05-2021, 07:59 PM   #595
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tomorrow i go back to the day hab...... im nervous....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 11-05-2021, 02:22 AM   #596
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How was your day back at the day centre?





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Old 11-05-2021, 02:39 AM   #597
Darkwings44
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it went surprisely good!!!! i got to see my best friend at the day centre he gave me hes phone number but i can only call him for 15 mintures and on weekends (the boss of group home said)and also on the weekdays i can only use the laptop atfer 7:00 pm so i wont be able to be online as much................



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 11-05-2021, 12:48 PM   #598
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Just an note to say that you're unlikely to get a response straight away during the week. The majority of members here are UK based and don't typically respond after 10 pm UK time. I dont know where in texas you are but it's currently at least 6 hours behind the UK according to Google. So 7 pm your time is currently 1 am UK time. I am sure someone will respond at some point but don't get too frustrated if nobody responds. Maybe it's time to use your r/v to get things down.


Last edited by not_so_insig : 11-05-2021 at 12:56 PM.


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"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
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Old Yesterday, 01:53 AM   #599
Darkwings44
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ok....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old Yesterday, 02:35 AM   #600
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my birthday is coming up........ june 14th........ im not looking forward to that day................. at all..... another year full of shit.............. i dont think i'll be able to take another year of this..............



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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