I usually count the days, weeks etc, but this time I didn't and I'm 5 months free now. Longest I've been.
When I reach 6 months, I'm going to treat myself to a waspie (corset like thing) or a tongue piercing.
Feel free to PM me any time; whether you want support or just a chat! x
"She's been everybody else's girl
Maybe one day she'll be her own"
one thing i did once that helped me stop for 18 months was i bought one of those italian charm bracelets. every month i went i added a charm. by the 18 months i had a whole bracelet of charms. the charms were meaningful things to me. having all of them there and worrying about having to start over if i cut helped.
also writing poetry, art and song lyrics really help me cope.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
I promised my best friend and my boyfriend that I'd stop, and they're both bigger than me ! I don't want to let them down, 'cos they've both been amazing.
I agree with distracting yourself however you like, chat to a mate, paint, dance, watch your favourite comedy show/film, use the net, play an instrument, sing, walk, run, kickbox, write, bake, read.... Well anything that will get your mind off the impulse.
Counting days keeps my focus, and as many have said, puts me off doing it as I know how far I've come, and I don't want to give that up.
But here's one for those in a couple, when you're wound up and you're about to reach that point, give your partner a really good, hard, passionate kiss. Trust me. It works every time.
Play the game out
Amor Vincit Omnia
Dad 10/11/2008 Always our sunshine, I'm still playing for the town hall clock
I'm in the process of stopping, it'll be two weeks tomorrow, and I've found what's helped was getting my friend, the guy who means more to me than anything, to write a note on a piece of paper that I just.. hold on to when I feel the urge, reading his words makes me feel like I shouldn't - like I don't want to, and that's helped a lot. Also, lotions.. drawing on myself instead of hurting myself. It helps to draw the lines of where I'd cut if I could, and then looking at those lines and realizing how good it is that I haven't cut.
never let it stop you. never let them tell you you can't do it, because every moment you fight you're winning a battle. never let the set backs stop you. when you're hurt, when you're tired? keep going. don't give up.
Usually i'll go for a walk to calm down. Or i'll write.
Mostly whenever i get that sudden urge- i'll go for a walk and listen to music on my mp3 player, and i'll walk and talk to myself (in a park so no one hears), i'll say what i'm thinking out loud so i know its real. I'll try and think about the REASON why want to self harm- not "i feel bad"- but WHY do i feel bad? How can i resolve the situation?
A lot of the time its because i feel like i've behaved like a **** or said something without thinking- and i just have to remind myself that cutting won't take away my feelings of embarrasment or my anger and at myself for beign stupid. Instead i just remind myself to calm down in social situations so it doesn't happen again.
Most importantly i remind myself SELF HARM DOESN'T RESOLVE A SITUATION, IT TEMPORARLY GIVES YOU A SENSE OF RELIEF, AND AFTERWARDS, THE PROBLEM IS STILL THERE, THE ONLY THING DIFFERENT IS A CUT OR A BURN OR A BRUISE.
these are the screams within...
...these are the life streams bleeding from skin.
*needing answers *needing love *needing acceptance *needing strength *needing commitment *needing forgiveness *needing compassion *needing understanding *needing someone to never let me go *needing God.
I take a red pen where I want to cut, and I draw how I would cut. It helps, I did that last night cause I had an urge and honestly, it lets you see where your scars would be. I got a little bit tired of looking at it. It helps me.
For tolerable urges - do something I really enjoy doing (for me: playing games, watching a DVD. dancing around my room).
For bad urges - I write down my feelings in detail, in therapy I learnt that I have a tendency to go 'I feel really bad' but never identify why. Nowadays I make a list (mental or physical) of what is bothering me then either find solutions or realise that I'm upset about nothing. Crying. The elastic band thing as the last resort. Staying away from the rooms that I used to harm in. Calling my best friend.
For urges in a public place (the pub etc): Wearing a hair bobble on my wrist just in case, relaxation techniques, calling my best friend (again!).
For general reasons to stay self-harm free: proving everyone wrong; staying happy; not having the stress of buying tools or covering up; no new scars; (eventually) short sleeves, going swimming, going on holiday; not upsetting my family and friends; being in control of my life; the prospect of becoming a teacher; the future in general; knowing that I overcame something difficult.
I love the ideas posted by Lou Pie.
When i get urges i either draw on myself with red pen where i would cut if i could, and spend ages making it look as real as possible, then feel good afterwards for not actually having done anything. or i text my friend who has been helping me through all my issues, he always makes me feel better.
Like Lou Pie, i also want to be a teacher, and want to be able to go swimming on holiday in the summer without having to worry about covering up. I find its always good to have a reason stopping you from doing it, my friend threatened to tell my parents i cut if i do it again and i haven't done it since and im now 58 days free :)
Physical exercise does the trick for me. Takes my mind away from the urges, and afterwards i'm too shattered to take any action on the urges.
Also, physical exercise has been proven to release more of serotonin, the endorphin which triggers the feel good hormone in human beings. Unlike anti-depressants, this has been shown to have no negative side effects as a result.
Me- i run until i can no longer run then i run home (makes me feel human again but i don't do it unless i'm desperate)
But my fave thing is my first aid box. It is an old shoebox that i covered and decorated and made all glittery- i have all sorts of special treats in it-
some really nice hand cream, my favourite hot chocolate sachets, a mini jigsaw puzzle, a famous five book, photos of those i love, lists of reasons not to, cocoa butter&aromatherapy oils for my scars, rescue remedy and a mini notebooks with a glitter gel pen.
When i get the urge i open my first aid box and use something from it. I change the contents now and then but whatever i have in it i don't use the rest of the time- thus making it a special treat.
I find the aromatherapy oils a godsend cos i can tailor mixes to my mood- some good ones are:
and i use grapeseed as my base- obviously check any contra-indications before using them though.
Last edited by ((deleted)) : 23-01-2008 at 05:11 PM.
i'm only just starting to try and quit, but what's motivating me right now is a whole life transformation, trying to get in shape, considering a completely new hair style becoming involved in new activities. it's like a slow but active whole life makeover and not cutting is part of that. trying to quit but keeping everything else in your life the same is practically impossible
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin
I don't count days. Counting days makes me feel like I'm still attached to SH, like it's still a part of me. When I want to cut, I think of how far I've come and how far I know I can go. I write, I dance, I do whatever I need to in order to feel better at that very moment.
im not exactly counting days, but i know its been about a month now. being in a treatment program helps me, also writing, dancing, singing, and calling a friend. i tried using a red pen but it made me really anxious. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!
Allie Rose "Stand in the rain, stand your ground, stand up when it's all crashing down, stand through the pain, you won't drown"