why bother?! - Page 25

Darkwings44 · 19-03-2021, 01:52 AM

yeah but im not sure what im comfortable telling her

Pomegranate · 19-03-2021, 02:13 AM

How might we be able to help you work out what and how you might be able to share stuff with her?

Darkwings44 · 19-03-2021, 02:17 AM

i have no idea....she said that shell call me on the phone.....but im scared because if i tell her things....it might be worse......

Pomegranate · 19-03-2021, 02:20 AM

So what might help you feel more comfortable?

Darkwings44 · 19-03-2021, 02:24 AM

if a friend was talking with me instead of her.... but almost all my friends are online and i dont know if ill be able to have support offline....

Pomegranate · 19-03-2021, 02:45 AM

Sorry, I’m unsure what you mean.... why would a friend be more comfortable to talk to than therapist? Like what would be the scary factor of talking to therapist?

Darkwings44 · 19-03-2021, 04:42 PM

because talking to my friend CR wouldnt make things bad.... and i dont have to worry about what she would say or who she would tell she would understand and be accepting of me and wouldnt tell anyone.......and talking to the therapist is quite frankly the total opposite of talking to my friend CR.........

The following content has been hidden - Reason : so those that want to know. know

Darkwings44 · 20-03-2021, 07:42 PM

I think I really really messed up!!!!!!!! I don’t know why she just wouldn’t leave it alone!!!!!! I told her about my friend from gaia online and also my plan!!!!!!! She noticed how angery I was and kept asking me stuff!!!! I think I really messed up in trusting her though because now the other staff is asking questions too (but they are really easy to deal with because they don’t keep pressureing me to tell them) she said that this was just between me and her and that I had confidentiality and that what I said to her wouldn’t go beyond us two (me and her) but i think i fucked up badly!!!!!!!!!! im scared!!!!!!!!

Darkwings44 · 21-03-2021, 08:51 PM

stupid staff wouldnt let me on my laptop untill 2:35PM cause the boss told her that it was up to her……….. when my oringel time (9:30am) was she said that I could have it in the afternoon so I was ok but when 1:00PM came she still didn’t let me on it…….i ended up having to wait until now to get on……….. and biteing myself because she made me so fusterated and angery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darkwings44 · 22-03-2021, 10:04 PM

im wondering if my therpist forgot about me....... i feel very very very depressed right now....

not_so_insig · 23-03-2021, 12:37 AM

There might be multiple reasons why she hasn't called and not because she has forgotten you. For example she might be sick or have had an family emergency. I am sure that she will get in contact as soon as she's able.

Pomegranate · 23-03-2021, 12:40 AM

Why do you think your therapist has forgotten about you?

What would you like to talk to her about?

Darkwings44 · 23-03-2021, 10:37 PM

Im very very very very depressed right now………. I didn’t get to talk to my thepist yesterday because of the phone didnt ring even though she callled 3 times.....but shes going to call me wensday at 3:00 though….... I wanna to go to hell so badly……..

Darkwings44 · 24-03-2021, 08:43 PM

i read a thread on RYL that got what i was feeling and thinking right......... and i wanna talk to her but i dont know what say........ i know what i want to say but.......i dont know how to say it.......

not_so_insig · 24-03-2021, 10:23 PM

Perhaps you could try writing it down what you want to say? Sometimes writing it down is easier and allows you to process feelings.

Darkwings44 · 24-03-2021, 10:29 PM

thank you i'll have to do it later because i have to go offline now

Darkwings44 · 25-03-2021, 01:29 AM

i talked to my therpist.. it didnt go as well as i had hoped.......... =(

Pomegranate · 25-03-2021, 01:37 AM

Do you want to talk to us about what happened?

Darkwings44 · 25-03-2021, 02:37 AM

i told her about what had happened but all she baciscally did was tell me that if i wanted to keep my guardianship and stay not on a one on one type of behaveral plan (when i have someone watching 24/7) i needed to stop.... then i got sick of her saying that again(she always tells me this) and told her that i wanted to move out of my group home and that if i got a apartment by myself (with no room mate) then all of that wont matter!!! she didnt help me at all she just made things worse!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pomegranate · 25-03-2021, 03:19 AM

That sounds frustrating. That being said though- unfortunately you are not in a position right now where you can make those decisions. If you wanted to I’m sure you could appeal the guardianship etc but when you’re still having meltdowns and having suicidal and self harm behaviours, it doesn’t sound like that would be successful. Maybe when you’re less upset you can work out with therapist or friends/family what they would want to see etc in order to support you being taken off guardianship and so you could live independently?