Bored. Lonely. Left out

[I-Feel-Infinite]

Easter holidays - or actually, any holidays - always leave me feeling bored, lonely and left out....

Bored:
i get bored REALLY easily. like i could be doing the world's most interesting thing and i'd still be bored. and when i'm bored i get upset because i'm at a loose end. then i lose hope for the future as i believe i will always be stuck in such a rut.
any way, now i'm REALLY bored. i really have nothing to do. NOTHING can occupy me long enough. i don't want to be bored as i'd end up self harming as i'd find there is nothing left to do. gaaaaaaah!

Lonely and Left out:
i live really far away from all my friends as I go to a school out of my own town..
so they're all in the same area... whereas i'm somewhere else..
i have friends in my area - but none as close or as good as the ones from school....
and i feel REALLY left out when they all get to meet up with each other whenever...
and half the time i don't even get invited as they think i wouldn't want to travel to go see them...
the thing is, i'm too broke to afford a train to go see them!
yet, because they all have each other, they don't really bother to actually come visit me...!
so yer, feeling lonely, i am left to think by myself at home - and i start to believe like none of my friends really care (even thouugh i KNOW they do) and how they don't REALLY want me there... etc etc etc

and due to these feelings i get MORE depressed. cry a bit more. cut a bit more. try to seek a bit more attention etc.

and no, i don't get on with my parents either...

anyway, i REALLY want to stop this habit of feeling these feelings EVERY holiday!!!
so i was wondering
1. whether anyone feels the same - or whether i'm just weird and over paranoid!

2. how on earth can i get out of this rut? as i'm in my penultimate year of school and this happens EVERY holiday!

[shadow-light]

i can emphorsize completely... My parents live in a tiny village with no bus service, etc. I used to go to school miles away and all my mates would meet up and stuff during the holidays without me... I used to feel exactly as you describe

I'm now at uni, about 5 hours on a train from my parents, I come back here for the holidays and hate it...

the internet and phones are great for keeping in touch with people though. often just hearing from peoplke and having a quick conversation can help greatly, that way you feel less left out and more as if people aer actually thinking of you and are not leaving you out on purpose

[I-Feel-Infinite]

wow i'm not weird or over paranoid then!!!
the problem with phone calls and stuff is that they never make an effort to call ME...
so yer i talk to them on the phone etc...
but in the back of my mind i'm still thinking they don't really WANT to hear from me as they themselves are not calling me....
if that makes sense...

[shadow-light]

perfect sense... i have the same thing... always feel i'm forcing myself upon people or they are only speaking to me as they feel they should/have to...

I think we're both just being paranoid though...

but you're defantly not alone in this

[I-Feel-Infinite]

EXACTLY!!!!

- seriously, it's like tonight my friend invited me to a party...
she invited me at about 4 to arrive at 5...
ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!
so obviously i couldn't go...
all my other friends could just waltz over to her house whenever they live so close!
uh.