I'm sorry it's come to this Beckie, I know it's not the outcome you wanted. It sounds like you do really need the support though, and maybe the tube will be helpful in a way as people said above. I hope that if it does go that way, it's not too traumatic having it put in (especially if they'll sedate you) and that it can give your brain the fuel it needs to start engaging with therapy and help to get you to a place where you're not reliant on it. Sending love and a big hug.
I'm really sorry you're having such a tough time. I hope today isn't as bad as you expect. I'm glad L knows everything that's going on so she can support you. Take care.
I'm so sad that you're struggling like this, Beckie. I really hope that you can do what is needed to get well no matter how scary it is. We are all here to support you.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
This is scarey but whatever they do is in your best interest. Is there anything you can do to help you relax? Breathing exercises, mindfulness, imagining yourself in a nice place with all the details? Sounds stupid but it can help me!
I saw PLS.
I don't know what's going on tbh.
Nothing is clear and i hate that
She talked a lot about ng but didn't say 'we're gonna do it and at x time' but she did say they can't discharge me.
I need clear plans! Even if the plan is bad, it would help to at least know wtf it is.
Idk if I'm seeing any other drs today. I've seen dietician and PLS now. Idk if I'm seeing gastro or not.
And yes, i tried to ask in plain words. But everyone seems to be reluctant to say 'well this is happening'.
It really doesn't help the mental state if I'm honest.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I am absolutely not tbh!
But I'm really struggling to continue to just sit here and not be told anything solid
Even if it was a plan i didn't agree with, it'd probably be better than being sat here, with literally no option to leave, waiting for *something* to happen
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Still nothing.
Bestie called PLS and they are gonna call him back apparently....whether they actually do or not...???
So sick of this
Had a nice visit with L though. Cheered me up. And my 1:1 made himself scarce for the time she was here
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Still nothing.
Bestie called PLS and they are gonna call him back apparently....whether they actually do or not...???
So sick of this
Had a nice visit with L though. Cheered me up. And my 1:1 made himself scarce for the time she was here
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I called PLS.
The guy had no fucking clue what was going on. Total idiot.
I got annoyed so passed the phone to my 1:1, who got equally frustrated at this twat. I just heard him keep repeating 'yes, she knows what a section 2 is, she understands it very well'
And he was claiming it's not PLS responsibility to decide what happens, but the ward staff are saying it is.
Fucking ridiculous
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'm so sorry they've gone radio silent on you, that's really not OK. I hope you get some answers today and/or your friend is able to communicate with them.
I was wondering if maybe they've sought the ED team's input and that might be where the delay is?
Thinking of you.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
