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10-09-2020, 01:34 AM
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#41
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:  
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it really feels like sh is the only real friend in real life i have at this point!!!!!!!!!!!
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 12:54 PM
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#42
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently: 
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Are there people around to go and speak to IRL when you feel this distressed?
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10-09-2020, 03:46 PM
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#43
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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no...
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 03:55 PM
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#44
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:
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But you said there are staff and nurses around?
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10-09-2020, 03:59 PM
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#45
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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yes but i cant talk to them because ill get in troble..
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 04:08 PM
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#46
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:
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Why would you get in trouble for reaching out when you're struggling?
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10-09-2020, 04:14 PM
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#47
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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because im not allowed to have suicideal and or self harm thoughts and or actions! they will write it up (make a report) and then i could get my computer locked up to wear i cant have it for a week!!!!!!
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 04:49 PM
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#48
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:
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That seems a peculiar action to punish you for having those sorts of thoughts. Why do they not want to help? Or they could at least refer you to someone who can. Or maybe you could do that yourself?
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10-09-2020, 05:33 PM
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#49
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The Shadow of the Day
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland
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Would they give you something positive if you have fought your urges for a week or whatever length of time? That sounds better than waiting for punishment.
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I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
You didn't come this far just to come this far.
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10-09-2020, 06:42 PM
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#50
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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Originally Posted by nonperson
That seems a peculiar action to punish you for having those sorts of thoughts. Why do they not want to help? Or they could at least refer you to someone who can. Or maybe you could do that yourself?
the boss of the group home told me that if i sh then i will be in troble
i havent told them.... because i would get in troble
i do have a therpist but she is a terrible therpist and i dont like her... or trust her at all
i dont know....
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 06:43 PM
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#51
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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Originally Posted by one_step_closer
Would they give you something positive if you have fought your urges for a week or whatever length of time? That sounds better than waiting for punishment.
i dont think so...
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 07:14 PM
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#52
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 07:17 PM
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#53
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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my whole world is is my pain... my torment.... my suffering.....
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 07:49 PM
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#54
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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just sent my mom a email slightly not really putting in into plain sight words but i kind of sent her a email saying goodbye
Last edited by Darkwings44 : 10-09-2020 at 07:51 PM.
Reason: added more to it
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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10-09-2020, 09:30 PM
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#55
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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11-09-2020, 12:37 AM
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#56
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Never knowing...a helping hand or hell to pay?
Join Date: Dec 2005
I am currently: 
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Thinking of you x
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'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
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11-09-2020, 01:55 AM
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#57
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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thank you......
i internet searched suicide and came across a site that has painless ways to die and another one has a article that i think actully fights the so commonly overly used thing to say "suicide is the easy way out" which i HATE with EVERY fiber of my being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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11-09-2020, 04:41 PM
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#58
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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one of the ladys at my group home called me disgusting for coughing........ the staff just agreed with her....... maybe shes right... i dont know...... everything just feels like shit right now........
Last edited by Darkwings44 : 11-09-2020 at 04:42 PM.
Reason: added more to it
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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11-09-2020, 05:06 PM
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#60
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*super hugs you all*
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: texas
I am currently:
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...thank you.....
tbh i dont think they will.....
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just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
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