This will be v brief post as phone is dying and don't know what time will have charger but desperately need some love. Upshot is I got attacked yesterday and I was already in a bad mh state voice etc and I've badly burnt my leg am in specialised burn unit now still a bit all over the shop. Could do with some love.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
So sorry I missed your call last night, was asleep!
Am really glad you are in a safe place now and being cared for.
Being attacked is a very scary thing to go through, so try and be gentle with yourself. You are likely to feel quite vulnerable and fearful for a while but know that although that is horrible to feel, it is quite natural to feel after going through such a thing.
Can you plan some nice things to do for when you get out of hosp? So you aren't just sat there not knowing what to do with yourself.
Have you got anything with you at hosp to keep you occupied and comforted?
Know that none of this is any of your fault, and we are here to help support you through this difficult ordeal <3
I am only a message away if you need me lovely xxxxxx
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
The guy attacked me because I was in a wheelchair. I feel so weak and vulnerable. He cam over with his bigoted mates going 'bet you like Mussies' etc etc then he got even more aggressive and said 'and we don't want spazzers either and he tipped me out my wheelchair backwards and his mate kicked me. Police arrested him but when they said about court it all came flooding back the vas against my abuser all those years ago.
Once is done my statement etc and left I burned myself way worse than I have ever done before on my leg it's proper dodge I nearly vomited when I saw it and I'm not usually squeamish and I have to have an operation for skin grafts and I've never had skin grafts before and I'm scared and tired and just feeling so very hopeless and low
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
Sweetheart that sounds incredibly scary *offers gentle cuddles* It was so brave of you to go to the police and make a statement.
Go at your own pace with it lovely, and take all the support you can get from them. They need to understand they are going to have to tread carefully with this. Are they aware of your history? If not it may be worth informing them vaguely about it.
Would any grounding techniques help you stay focused on the present?
It must be daunting to have to go through an operation, but just try and remember you are in safe hands and in the best place for it.
You are allowed to be upset and angry about this Katy, I know the feelings can be overwhelming but try and allowed yourself to feel rather than blocking or pushing the feelings away, as they will only come to bite you later on.
Sending you my continued loveee <3
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Thanks all. Good news on physical front might be able to go home in a few days with district Nurse coming out each day to change dressings and weekly apppontment with burns unit to check progress may just about avoid a skin graft which is fab. Have to get some results back okay and work with physio before can be discharhed but am hopeful not
Too long!
Really glad but little bit scared as well. What if I don't manage physically? What if I get attackef again or someone breaks in or something? (Head going ape with anxiety)
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
Those absolute fucking bastards I'll kill them! Absolutely livid!
Im.so sorry you had to go through such a horrid thing , sweetheart. I wish I knew what to say or do. Please please don't let this affect your ability to go out on your own; that's what the arseholes want and you can't let them win. I'm so sorry for being such a rubbish friend to you but I really hope I can see you soon for big hugs xxxx
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
I am not sure what to say other than well done for going to the police. Too many hate crimes against disabled people go unreported you totally did the right thing. It might not feel like it but it is. I have left hugs.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Wish someone could be there 24/7 but that's not going to happen um lock doors try and do my meditation stuff there's actually one called feeling safe. I would feel better if I felt more physically able so will try my best with physio to plan. No idea other than that.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
What about having a list of people to phone? Could you remind yourself to phone family or friends when you need to? When I'm anxious knowing I can phone someone is often helpful.
Oh no I am so sorry to hear that. I'm glad you reported it to the police. If you have Skype/ FaceTime maybe you could video call your friend or family as seeing their face as well as hearing their voice might help you feel a bit safer at home.
Sending you big hugs. Feel free to PM me whenever you want.
Xxx
The only way that we can live is if we grow. The only way we can grow is if we change. The only way we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we are exposed is if we throw ourselves into the open.
Does anything help take away the focus from the voice?
Whilst you are recovering would it help to start a project on something, maybe creative. So you have an ongoing distraction that you can dip in a out of. Maybe some sort of scrapbook?
Did you manage at all to speak to the community nurse about pain meds?
Sorry I'm firing questions at you here. Know that I'm only a message or text away and will get back to asap <3
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I'm sorry I'm low on words but I'm so sorry this happened to you Katy. You can get through this though, you are a strong girl. Always around if you want to rant or just chat. Lots of love �� Xx
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