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Old 11-05-2020, 10:52 AM   #81
one_step_closer
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I'm glad you wrote a note. I can relate to sounding pathetic but you're being honest and you're going through a lot, you're not pathetic at all. The CMHT need to be there for you when you are in a difficult point, there is no harm in phoning your CPN to see if she can offer anything. People would most definitely notice if you died. I notice the periods of time when you're not around here. Please speak to your CPN or someone else if she's not available, your words and thoughts and feelings deserve to be heard.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 11-05-2020, 03:53 PM   #82
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I called to speak to my cpn. She called me back and was very validating and very kind. Shes got the psychiatrist to call me at half 4 today to discuss PRN. And we made a plan for the rest of today. And then she is coming to see me at home tomorrow morning.



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Old 11-05-2020, 03:56 PM   #83
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Amazing news - So proud of you.







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Old 11-05-2020, 04:00 PM   #84
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Thank you. It was hard and took me a long time to work myself up to. But I'm glad you guys supported me to do it. Worried about the psychiatrist call now.



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Old 11-05-2020, 04:24 PM   #85
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Oh thank goodness for a decent CPN in the midst of other unhelpful professionals! I'm so pleased she has been helpful.

Good luck with the psychiatrist call- hopefully they will have been briefed about your situation and what has been going on. Make sure you explain just how unsafe you are feeling at the moment and maybe you could explain what PRN medication you have found helpful in the past?



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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Old 11-05-2020, 04:28 PM   #86
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It's the doctor I've met several times so that helps. Holly said he just wants to discuss dose so I hope he doesnt ask much more.

I dont know much about PRN, usually its swallow this or we will inject it.



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Old 11-05-2020, 06:01 PM   #87
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Very well done Lillie. I'm glad your CPN heard you and is willing to support you. How did it go with the psychiatrist?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 11-05-2020, 06:32 PM   #88
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He just talked at me for 25 minutes, which is not unusual for him. Hes doing a diazepam prescription for me.



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Old 11-05-2020, 07:10 PM   #89
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Was any of what he said helpful lovely? Thinking of you x

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Old 11-05-2020, 08:04 PM   #90
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He kind of just talks at you at length about all the past elites of meds and aide effects and prescribing options in the manner of an enthusiastic puppy.



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Old 11-05-2020, 08:56 PM   #91
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I am so proud of you, Lillie <3

And very amused by your above description.




Humility over, I am amazing.

Fight for your dreams and your dreams will fight for you.



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Old 12-05-2020, 10:43 AM   #92
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Did you get anything useful from the call? Anything happening with PRN? Also I hope it's helpful to see your CPN today.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 12-05-2020, 10:57 AM   #93
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Proud of you, I really hope the PRN helps even if it's just a little.







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Old 13-05-2020, 12:22 PM   #94
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How do you know if it's bad enough to warrant prn? The psychiatrist said to try other things before taking prn but not to wait too long as it will take an hour to work.



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Old 13-05-2020, 01:45 PM   #95
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I have a score for my anxiety:
0 is no anxiety
1 is anxious but manageable
2 is bad anxiety although able to do a few coping skills before taking PRN
3 is really bad, need PRN asap.

Could you do a similar score for your symptoms? I find it helps me feel justified in taking PRN. But if you think you need PRN you probably do!



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Old 13-05-2020, 03:27 PM   #96
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I agree that if you think you need PRN you probably do. I am very aware when I have reached my limit, but it's hard if they're saying yours will take an hour to work. Maybe you can be doing something in that hour while you're waiting. I think that with time you'll come to understand how things work with you and the PRN, kind of like instinct. You know yourself best.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-05-2020, 04:50 PM   #97
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I took some prn a short time ago. I feel ok about it because I've been fighting serious self destruction impulses since this morning. And I've showered and done crochet and watched a film and had food and been to the shop and they are getting worse. It's hard not knowing if the dose will work.

I'm painting my nails while I'm waiting for it to work.



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Old 13-05-2020, 06:04 PM   #98
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Nail painting is a good idea. When I'm waiting for meds to work I do an easy puzzle and watch tv.



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Old 13-05-2020, 06:09 PM   #99
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Well done for everything you've been trying. I really hope the PRN helps.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 15-05-2020, 10:34 AM   #100
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I feel like such a stupid failure. Yesterday didnt go well. But I felt better and validated after it. And I hate that. And I feel embarrassed about how I was in front of my CPN. And I realise now what I wanted was her permission and encouragement to seek medical help. But I couldn't verbalize that. I feel so stupid.



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