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Old 14-08-2021, 10:40 AM   #1
[Luna]
 
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: UK
Loneliness

Hey my loves,

I think I may have made a post similar to this a while back but I can't actually remember.

I'm really lonely. The pandemic has wiped out any social life I once had and now my limited mobility means I'm struggling to travel alone anywhere further than up the road.

I miss going places and seeing friends. I miss having friends. A lot of it is my own fault. When I'm struggling mentally then I cut myself off from others and my dissociative disorders makes my memory so bad that I'm **** at keeping up text/whatsapp conversations.

I don't know what to try but I need to do something. I feel really alone.



Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot

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Old 14-08-2021, 11:18 AM   #2
nonperson
 
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I hear you. Is there any way to get back your pre-pandemic social life? Or reach out and message some people you may have cut off unintentionally?

Maybe there's some more online/zoom type things you could do? Or can people come to you instead as mobility is hard?

Sorry that's a lot of questions.

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Old 14-08-2021, 11:26 AM   #3
[Luna]
 
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Pre-pandemic I would go to a support group twice a week which was really good for socialising with others. The group went online and it stopped lots of people attending so I haven't bothered. They don't seem to have any plans to move back to be in person.

I would take my son to mother and baby groups but they are all on days he's at nursery now.

There was one group we go to but that doesn't run during the summer holiday so won't resume until September. I was going to an exercise class that I really enjoyed but that only ran term time too.

I don't really know about online stuff. I've done a quick goggle a few times and not really found anything.

As for reaching out to people, I guess I just get worried that they won't want from me or will get annoyed with me because of how hard I find it to keep up conversations.



Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot

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Old 14-08-2021, 01:00 PM   #4
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Hey, sorry if what I say isn't that useful, but I just wanted to let you know that I totally hear you on this and have struggled with a similar experience myself.

I really hope you're feeling able to show yourself patience and kindness as you journey your way into post-pandemic life. It can be so challenging, but you are a hero for reaching out to us in the first place. Loneliness can feel so crushing, but it doesn't change your worth or your inherent values as a person. Your friends will love you for all of these reasons, and will be accepting of the fact that your struggles mean you can't always keep up conversations. It's okay to reach out, and it's okay to ask for help.

You mentioned an exercise group that you were going to but that this is only running term time. Do you have any local parks near you? I don't know what type of class it was, but I do sometimes see similar groups meeting up in my local park. Are you close enough to any other members who attended to ask if they wanted to join you?



Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.

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Old 14-08-2021, 01:36 PM   #5
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More things going online since covid has been good and bad in some cases! It's a shame that some places aren't returning to the old way and therefore losing people who would still gain a lot from being part of it.

Maybe you can start doing those term time things again in September?

And pixiedust said it best above - if they're good friends they will understand your problems keeping up with conversations sometimes.

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Old 14-08-2021, 04:13 PM   #6
[Luna]
 
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Thank you so much for your lovely replies.

I'm enrolled on the exercise class when it starts up again toward the end of December. It's ideal because it's a wellbeing class for people with Mental health issues so the lady running it is very understanding and she adapts the exercies so I can do them seated.

I looked on 'Meetup' and found a couple of online groups to try - Ones a weekly guided meditation and there's a book club so decided I'm going to try those.



Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot

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Old 14-08-2021, 07:12 PM   #7
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They all sound like excellent things to look forward to, especially the meditation.

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Old 23-10-2021, 12:14 PM   #8
MrsNutkin
 
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I just wanted to say that I hear you.

I've never really had friends IRL. I hope you feel seen and heard and online friends, at least in my opinion, are just as valid.

Take care.

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Old 27-10-2021, 06:50 PM   #9
Touch
 
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I think that's amazing you have been so brave taking the plunge and enrolling on these things. Have you had a first session yet with the book club or guided meditation?



"Love hunt me down, I can't stand to be so dead behind the eyes, and feed me, spark me up, a creature in my blood stream chews me up. "

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