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Old 25-11-2020, 06:12 PM   #101
Cacoethes
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That’s a good idea.
Yeah that probably won’t go down well tbh!

Just want to be able to go home



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


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Old 25-11-2020, 06:24 PM   #102
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Are you getting any leave at the moment / is that even an option with the whole pandemic thing? If it's an option maybe instead of asking to go home you could also ask for leave? I get you want to go home but if they are too concerned, maybe it would be a good way to prove you can stay safe? If you think you can.

I know it's hard and I know you want to go home. But pretty sure just telling them that they are being horrible and you want to go home ultimately won't get you home faster. Where maybe if you can come up with other suggestions they might be more willing to work with you? I don't know. I'm sorry things suck and it's turning out to be a longer hospitalization than planned.



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Old 25-11-2020, 06:56 PM   #103
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No I don't have any leave at the moment.
People are going out, there is a shop within walking distance
They'd probably want me to have escorted leave at first anyway so I'd have to stay safe. If they grant me leave at all.

That is true.
Thank you



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-11-2020, 05:50 PM   #104
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Ward round was awful.
They want me to go to a specialist unit.
I'm not sure if they meant therapeutic community type thing or not. I couldn't really hear through crying.
But I've refused anyway.
I don't think they are going to force me
I don't think they can
Don't know what they're doing about meds
I think they said they'd speak to the pharmacist about increasing depot.
They said clozapine would be the best one but I can't go on it because I keep randomly stopping it.
They said something about injectable clozapine but I didn't think that was a thing.
They said I was very unwell which upset me even more.
I cried so much.
I asked about leave. The doctor said they'd have to discuss it with the team. I don't know why they couldn't just say yes.
Overall. I am not happy



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-11-2020, 06:03 PM   #105
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I don't have many words at the moment because I can understand why all of that would be really difficult and upsetting to hear and can take time to process. Maybe later on you can ask them for a written explanation of what they want over to see if you can understand better?

Thinking of you.



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Old 26-11-2020, 06:42 PM   #106
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Thank you Camden
Appreciate it

I will ask for something written tomorrow when the deputy manager is in again because she was in my ward round today. She might know what's going on

I've just had to have prn meds because I'm so upset



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Old 26-11-2020, 06:47 PM   #107
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Just wanted to leave hugs. Definitely ask for something written.



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Old 26-11-2020, 07:21 PM   #108
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Thanks tamo



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-11-2020, 07:23 PM   #109
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I'm sorry, Beckie. =(

Hope you can find a way through this soon.

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Old 26-11-2020, 08:01 PM   #110
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Thank you np

I just want to go home
I've had enough



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-11-2020, 08:37 PM   #111
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I am sorry to hear that your ward round didn't go well Beckie. Idk what to say other than I care and have read. Also hugs.



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"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
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Old 26-11-2020, 08:43 PM   #112
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Sending hugs <3







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Old 26-11-2020, 08:48 PM   #113
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Thank you both <3

I had a sandwich and now it feels like the world is going to implode



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


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Old 27-11-2020, 11:57 AM   #114
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I know that feeling. What is it that's scarey about the sandwich for you?



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Old 27-11-2020, 12:35 PM   #115
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I want to starve the contamination. But I also want to get out of here.
The doctor didn’t seem bothered that i wasn’t eating though



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Old 27-11-2020, 02:56 PM   #116
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I don't think eating will do you or anyone else any harm, but I understand it can feel that way. I'm sure the doctor was bothered, maybe they felt there were other things to focus on though. Have you managed to speak to anyone about the outcome of the review and what it means for you?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 27-11-2020, 03:04 PM   #117
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Thanks lindsay

I had another sandwich today.
It feels wrong
But I felt I was getting unwell from not eating for that amount of time. I was feeling dizzy and getting spots in front of my eyes.
But that could also be the contamination. I'm not sure.
I did ask a nurse to have a look on the notes to find out what happened. So she'll probably get back to me 6 hours later like with everything else.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 27-11-2020, 03:34 PM   #118
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How would you know if the contamination was gone?



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Old 27-11-2020, 03:47 PM   #119
Cacoethes
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The voices would tell me



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 27-11-2020, 04:26 PM   #120
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I don't think the voices are reliable, sorry if that goes against your beliefs. I think they might be messing you around to get a reaction. You're better to listen to your human instinct. Anything you have done for the voices before has never been good enough for them but you have recovered without doing what the voices say. I think you've listened to them for long enough. You are in control of you and should be in charge. If you were in charge I'm sure you'd be choosing better things for yourself/your life, so try and take back that charge if you can.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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