Hi guys I get that too or I do the can't get my words out thing as well. I tried writing things down but then my ed nurse got annoyed and missed the important bits. Does anyone else find professionals are quite harsh if you dissociate? It makes me nervous when that happens. I'm sorry things are hard and that your gp is leaving as well. I hate the dentist Laura I can empathise I have my appointment at the dentists Monday . I think the NHS can do a great job but fighting for the right help or if you end up with a professional who isn't good or you don't get on with them. Sorry my heads a mess feel I ache with grief today. X
I am sorry your GP is leaving Kerry, glad your therapist is good and kind though.
I know what you mean Jess, I am certain my GP is getting annoyed and angry with me, not with dissociation though, not sure if she knows about that.
I hate the dentist Laura, well done for going, hope your mouth is less numb now.
I am sorry your CC was like that Utopia. I often forget stuff that has happened in conversations, unless it is facts and figures or about something I am interested in. Like today at my GP I told her about my psych wanting to add in a med and the dosage of it, she said it was good I could remember that, but I said most stuff I can't remember, but facts and figures I can just remember like that, someone will say something or I'll read it and facts and figures just stay in my brain.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
I'm sorry to hear about your GP too Kerry. I hope you manage OK but at least your T is very understanding.
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Does anyone else find professionals are quite harsh if you dissociate?
Yes. I feel like they're sceptic of anything I say and just don't believe a word I say, despite the fact that when I was diagnosed, I had no idea it was even a thing. I had no idea that all these weird experiences connected under one heading - so that doesn't make sense. My one T though, she was very nice - but even she was sometimes just not understanding in the end. I think they get frustrated when it doesn't go away as quickly as they'd expected on their time line prediction or something.
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I'm feeling connected up today, and it's sunny so I want to go outside. I reckon though, that after walking to the end of my street, if I'm on my own, I will no longer be having a "feeling connected" sort of day.
sorry it is so difficult for you with professionals when you are dissociated. We are really happy with our therapist, because he is good at getting me back from dissociation and also knows a lot about trauma stuff and DID. With GPs we've had only bad experiences so far when it comes to psychological issues. had more than one who just told us that phyiscal problems were psychosomatic when it was clearly because of an accident I had. Just because there are scars on our arms doesn't mean that we can't have an accident or virus, right? It just makes me angry when I have to go to a GP who is going to tell me it's psychological... without even checking me physically.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
I also repeat things a million times without realising - it got worse after having ECT - and my boyfriend often says ''you've already told me that loads of times''.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
When I was IP once my friend came to visit. I kept telling her it was OK because I had downloaded Tony Hawks on my iPod. (because that makes everything ok!)
Then I was telling her about it and she finished my sentence with, "because you downloaded Tony Hawks on your iPod?"
My response = "how did you know?"
"because you keep telling me. You've told me 6 times, and last time I came to see you you told me"
Oh.
Oops.
Then I got embarrassed because I didn't have anything else to talk about - but I'd already bored her talking about Tony Hawks.
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How is everyone today?
I think I'm struggling under the surface a little because I keep getting kid voices telling me stuff, or crying, laughing, screaming in there. It's just strange, and a little disconcerting.
I guess it's harmless, but it makes life difficult a bit.
Hugs everyone. Sorry I can't stop trembling and my chest is killing me . I'm hiding in my room trying to distract as there are friends of my mums downstairs. I need the flashbacks to stop.
I'm losing a lot of patches of time today. It's confusing. The only thing that I'm remembering ok is my story I'm reading, so I may well spend all day reading it.
I haven't a diagnosis on this; but for example often when I am with people, friends or family, I don't really feel like I am there. This can also happen when I am alone.
It often leads me to feel my head is sort of empty and also it affects my memory of such situations, as I haven't really felt I was "there" to experience it. It is most often worst in public, where there are alot of people around and especially if I'm not doing anything in particular, just walking along.
I have clear moments, sometimes whole clear days and then I do feel really alive and if not fully connected to the world around me, then alot more connected than when I dissociate, or dissapear.
I will reckon it is a defence mechanism from bullying way back in school and also from an extremely stressfull few months with my ex a few years back. I never tackle stress very well; stress (from any source) is what triggers my dissociation most of the time.
Abandon hope, ye pitiful ones. Embrace defiance and relent another day.
I keep thinking about the abuse I suffered as a child and as an adult and feeling bad because I keep thinking it wasn't severe enough for me to complain about so I should shut up about it.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
LotusandDice: Welcome to the thread! I think dissociation getting worse when there is stress is the same for almost everyone. I know there is a lot more switching for us when one of us has more stress.
Liddy, there is no parameter that classifies abuse as 'bad enough' and 'not bad enough'! Trauma is subjective and different for every one. What would you say to someone who had said what you said above?
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Hi guys welcome lotusanddice . Hugs Liddy I so agree with Laura but I can also relate as I have similar feelings that I didn't go through enough as a child or adult as well. I've totally failed to do the collage my therapist asked me to do and the words I want to say are so stuck in my head. I feel the fat on my body has betrayed me.
Hi Lotus: I feel the same but after reading up more about causes and stuff I've read that persistency has an effect as well as severity. I was only subjected to emotional abuse and neglect but it was so persistent that it's had a huge effect, whereas other people suffer physical abuse or SA and come out having managed to cope better, or similarly. Additionally the age at which is began is important because a younger child has less coping resources than an older one and trauma is basically any circumstance which exceeds your abilities to cope. If that makes sense? Which, like pain, I different for everyone and entirely subjective.
Hugs everyone else. I can't scroll up to see what you all said properly- boo hoo.
I'm ok. Was on the verge of a crisis but I just took meds a lot and eventually calmed down. Although I was starting to lose myself and it was SO hard.
Yeah, you are making sense. I haven't gotten around to reading much about this yet myself; I've had other things on my mind and I guess I just recently started to think about this properly.
For my part, I was also only subjected to emotional abuse (though there was an instance or few of physical confrontation, but not on a regular basis) and felt rejected and neglected. All this was in school up until the beginning of high-school, to varying degrees. The months with my ex is a different story for another time, though I think that might have been the last straw, so to speak. I was never the same after that. Never able to calm down properly.
Thank you for your reply and I'm glad to hear you're ok now.
Abandon hope, ye pitiful ones. Embrace defiance and relent another day.
"how did you know?" 
