too old?

[Darkwings44]

im 29 and today while talking to my mom on the phone about my SH she said "you want us to treat you like a grown up but you do stupid stuff like this! grown ups dont do this kind of stuff"

am i too old to self harm?

[Zurg]

Last time i checked there wasn't an age limit. I'll be 40 this year and i self harm. A comment like that is actually quite an immature comment from someone who hasn't really bothered to even try to dig a little deeper into the issue.

To be fair, sometimes it's just one of those arrogant/borderline abusive comments that ignorant people throw around like confetti. My mum says something like that a lot too. So maybe it's a mum thing????

It's not you darkwings, it's them refusing to try and understand something happening to you which neither you nor they can control. Xx

[nonperson]

I'm 37 and still self harm. And have known of people much older who started well into their late adult lives too.

Unfortunately it is something that is mostly associated with teenagers but that is really not the truth of it. People can still feel the same emotions whether they are 16 or 60 and the reactions to those emotions can sometimes be the same regardless of age whether that is self harm or something else.

[Darkwings44]

thank you all!! <3

[not_so_insig]

Nonperson speaks wise words. I am currently self injury free but when I did do it I was in my thirties. I know someone who is nearly 40 and still self injures. So like it has been said you're never too old.

[Darkwings44]

i was 17 when i started......

[Amaranth]

I was a teenager when I started, but 36 when I last self harmed. It's a stereotype that it is only teenagers who self harm, there are a huge number of adults who self harm and a good number of them would have started it in adulthood. Self harm isn't childish and does not mean you are immature or less grown up than anyone else your age.

[AJ303]

31years old here. Self Harm isn't a phase or Hobby, Unfortunately for some people it's a method of coping we struggle to stop using even as adults when we know it's not healthy or socialy acceptable. Many of us did start in our teens but you don't just grow out of it you have to learn to use other coping strategies, and that's really difficult when your instinct is to use what's worked for you.

[Darkwings44]

true very very true
even my therapist implys that gown people dont self harm....

[Darkwings44]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amaranth

I was a teenager when I started, but 36 when I last self harmed. It's a stereotype that it is only teenagers who self harm, there are a huge number of adults who self harm and a good number of them would have started it in adulthood. Self harm isn't childish and does not mean you are immature or less grown up than anyone else your age.

thank you

[samshine]

I'm 34. I started when I was 13. It's not as frequent as it use to be but when it happens now it's a lot more serious. I know it's not a healthy coping skill but it is unfortunately one I go back to when my ptsd and depression are super active. My partner doesn't understand at all. It felt like there were a lot more resources available when I was a teen. I was told most people 'grow out of it' unfortunately I'm not one of those people

[Darkwings44]

im not one of those people ethier......

[MoNo]

for me, the issue isn't other people telling me i'm too old to do it. no one in my personal life (at this point) knows i still do it. i think my mum thinks i quit over a decade ago and i've long ghosted all my friends and exes that knew.

my issue is thinking i myself am immature because i haven't stopped. i see people around me who've moved on in life, yet i've been doing this thing for over half my life. it's like i'm either holding onto it because it excuses the lack of progress in the rest of my life, or the lack of progress is why i can't stop. i remember when i reached the halfway point a few years ago i nearly lost my mind realising how much time i'd wasted on this crap. the only real thing that's changed is frequency.

to answer your question though, no.

[sandalwood]

I'm sorry you're getting this reaction from your mother. It sounds hurtful and dismissive.

No you're not too old to self-harm. There are people who self-harm to avoid suicide, to express pain and agitation- there are so many reasons why people do it. It's like saying "You are too old to be feeling this way," when the underlying cause of self harm is varied, justifiable and might be different each time one harms themselves.

I have felt like I will never get better in terms of the urges to hurt myself, although I do not do it compulsively as I did as a late teen. I'm 36 years old right now and if I self harm, I would not feel like it was an old coping mechanism, just something that gives me relief at the moment.