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Old 10-08-2024, 07:57 PM   #21
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.

I had loads of escaping dreams. I've been shut out my room for trying to practice jumping off things. But L came to see me, that was nice. I want the day to be over. I'm going to get my meds early.



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

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Old 10-08-2024, 08:23 PM   #22
Moonlight Princess
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Getting the meds might be helpful, are they to help you sleep? If so, then getting some extra sleep sounds like a good idea and will help the day be over! Well done for almost getting through your first day here :)



You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.


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Old 10-08-2024, 09:08 PM   #23
tamobhuuta
 
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I will see how i sleep without them. I want to go to bed but my nurse wants to talk to me first so I've got to wait for him to finish meds.



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 10-08-2024, 09:19 PM   #24
Moonlight Princess
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Okay, hope that conversation goes well :)



You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.


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Old 11-08-2024, 09:40 AM   #25
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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The conversation was ok. He gave me a form to fill in in prep for ward rounds. I didn't answer most of the questions, they were asking what help I wanted etc.

I slept really badly but managed to get up for breakfast.



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 11-08-2024, 01:16 PM   #26
one_step_closer
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What made it difficult to answer the questions about what help you want? Would it be better if someone was to explain what they think they can offer you? Sorry you had a bad sleep, I think the first night in hospital is the worst. Hopefully tonight will be better. Did you take your night meds?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 11-08-2024, 01:35 PM   #27
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I don't want their help, I just want to be set free! I did take night meds, about 8.45pm. I thought they gave them when they were good and ready but you do queue when you want them.



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 11-08-2024, 01:43 PM   #28
one_step_closer
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I think to be set free you need to get some help first. You've been in this position before, maybe with different kinds of thoughts, but you've always made it through and the beliefs subside at least a bit.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 11-08-2024, 04:23 PM   #29
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.

There are messages in the electricity but I don't know what they mean.

I don't like The State being in charge of health care, it feels all wrong. I will have to find somewhere else to live!



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 11-08-2024, 06:16 PM   #30
Moonlight Princess
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Could you speak to any staff member about your worries?



You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.


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Old 11-08-2024, 06:19 PM   #31
tamobhuuta
 
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I don't think I know any of them well enough.



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 11-08-2024, 06:22 PM   #32
one_step_closer
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Sometimes it's easier to speak to someone you don't really know, they might have different ideas and support methods because they don't have prejudgements of you as much as people who know you. Also, you need to talk to people to get to know them. You're there to be listened to and supported and you need to try and use that.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 13-08-2024, 11:50 AM   #33
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.

I'm not sure what I expect from writing here, but writing in rv wasn't enough. I'm finding it hard to ask for help with the voices because every time I get close they make me punish myself with sh. Maybe if I keep schtum everyone will go away?



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 13-08-2024, 04:08 PM   #34
long road
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Maybe if you tell someone about the voices but that they punish you with self harm they could help with the voices and keeping safe from voices instructions to self harm?

It must be really distressing and confusing and it's valid to want help but at same time be scared.

Hopefully if ou engage with staff you will get home quicker.




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Old 13-08-2024, 04:59 PM   #35
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I do want to get home quickly! But telling the truth got me here so maybe I should stop talking?



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 13-08-2024, 06:01 PM   #36
one_step_closer
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I think things would be worse for you at home right now. You need this support and you need to use it no matter how scary it feels. You can do this.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 13-08-2024, 07:51 PM   #37
long road
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Ah but the only way you get to go home and stay home is telling the truth and have them help you get to a place where you are more safe and not self harming etc.




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Old 14-08-2024, 11:52 AM   #38
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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My arms were itchy, driving me mad. Meds didn't help, grounding didn't help, ice packs didn't help. They acted like I was mental when I started taking my stitches out. I swear, it was the only thing that worked. Luckily the rest are officially being taken out today, though they keep putting me off.

Had ward rounds, I didn't say anything because the voices had warned me and I didn't want to have to punish myself again. I think the psych said he was going to do something with my meds.



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 14-08-2024, 01:44 PM   #39
one_step_closer
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Are you ok with the outcome of your ward round despite feeling unable to share things?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 14-08-2024, 04:35 PM   #40
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Apparently I misheard and he's not changing my meds (this week). There was no outcome! I wish he'd discharged me.



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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