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Old 22-05-2020, 02:09 PM   #721
Cacoethes
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Not a clue
They did my blood pressure again just now and it's fine so hopefully just a one off



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 23-05-2020, 12:43 PM   #722
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How are you feeling today?







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Old 23-05-2020, 12:45 PM   #723
Cacoethes
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I'm not too bad today thanks
Just annoyed with the splint and bored but mostly ok



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 23-05-2020, 01:05 PM   #724
one_step_closer
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What things can you do to relieve your boredom? I'm glad you're doing ok. When does the splint come off?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-05-2020, 01:22 PM   #725
Cacoethes
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I'm watching films on the iPad at the moment
Thing is I don't really feel like doing anything
I have an appointment at the fracture clinic on Thursday so hoping it can come off then. Unless they find a fracture in which case I'll have to have a cast on which would suck even more!



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 23-05-2020, 02:17 PM   #726
one_step_closer
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I hate that feeling when you don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes you have to just force yourself to start something and try and stick with it and see how you go. What films are you watching? Hopefully you'll get out to the shop.

Fingers crossed for your fracture clinic appointment. You've said you've been more safe with the splint on, do you think you can keep that up if it comes off? I hope you can because you're doing so well compared to where you have been.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-05-2020, 02:21 PM   #727
Cacoethes
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I was watching monsters inc but don't really feel like watching anything else atm
I think I will get out to the shop now

Thanks
Yes I have been more safe with it on
I think I can keep myself safe after because I should be going home soon and I don't want to jeopardise that. It will be easier to die at home



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 23-05-2020, 02:24 PM   #728
one_step_closer
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I hope that when you get home you will realise that you don't have to die, because I don't think you will die and you don't want to end up straight back into hospital. There is life out there for you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-05-2020, 02:56 PM   #729
Cacoethes
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I know there is.
And that's what makes things so hard



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 23-05-2020, 06:31 PM   #730
one_step_closer
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You can reach that life. The world isn't going to suddenly be disease free and everyone happy with your death. You are allowed a place in the world just like everyone else. One person can't change everything for the better. You don't have to stop trying to make the world a better place, you can do it in safer and more realistic ways.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-05-2020, 08:03 PM   #731
Cacoethes
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Thank you lindsay
Thats really lovely of you to say

Unfortunately things went to shit and I'm locked out of my room for the night
The prn earlier did precisely nothing
Had to see the doctor and I am physically ok



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 24-05-2020, 10:23 AM   #732
one_step_closer
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How was the rest of your night? How are you today? PRN doesn't work on its own, you have to really fight these urges. Please. I hate to see you going round in circles like this. You were doing really well, it's ok to have blips, but moving forward is the best way to go. I understand how difficult it can be though.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-05-2020, 12:47 PM   #733
Cacoethes
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Thanks lindsay
I ended up in the seclusion outfit but have just been allowed to get dressed
I thought the prn would at least make me sleepy enough to have a lie down but nope. Nothing.
I want to move forward but the voices were so bad yesterday. I couldn't deal with them



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 24-05-2020, 02:35 PM   #734
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Were you upset because of the voices or were the voices bad because you were upset? I think you can find ways to deal with the voices you just haven't found less destructive ways yet. The destructive ways never work so I think it's better to be looking for something else. Sometimes PRN doesn't help till you've got all your tears out and then its calming effects start to work. I found it better to talk/cry to a nurse and get everything out and then have PRN.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-05-2020, 05:44 PM   #735
Cacoethes
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I was upset because of the voices
Cried so much yesterday and I'm not usually one for crying
At least the staff were really nice to me and not just annoyed like some staff are.

You always speak sense lindsay
I'm going to make more of an effort to talk to staff
Been meh today but way better than yesterday
Even though no one told me they were doing a shop run which was annoying.
Had to have prn today though



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 24-05-2020, 06:25 PM   #736
one_step_closer
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I'm sorry the voices are upsetting you so much. Maybe you're getting to your limit of what you can hold inside. It's ok to cry and it's ok to seek help. I'm glad the staff were nice to you, although they all should be all the time.

Well done for deciding to try and talk to staff more, I hope you do. That is annoying not being told people were doing a shop run. Hopefully you'll be able to get back to the shop yourself at some point.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-05-2020, 06:41 PM   #737
Cacoethes
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Thank you
I think I am getting to my limit
I'm so sick of all this
The psychologist kept saying that I'm in control and the voices can't control what I do but it doesn't always feel like that

I had a shower and had towels in my room (what I prefer to use for incidents) but I gave in all my clothes and the towels after my shower
And I'm allowed socks again
So just got to try and stay safe



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 24-05-2020, 10:30 PM   #738
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cacoethes View Post
I gave in all my clothes and the towels after my shower
And I'm allowed socks again
Lovely. That bit about giving the towels and clothes back is amazing. Honestly i am so so proud of you for doing that!!!
Also if you do feel unsafe with items. They would rather you give them to staff and say i arent doing good. Or its best you have X. Rather then another icident

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Old Yesterday, 08:06 AM   #739
Cacoethes
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Thanks Lauren :)
Yes that's true
I'm going to make more of an effort to do that



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old Yesterday, 11:30 AM   #740
one_step_closer
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Well done Beckie, I am yet again proud of you. Keep trying your best not to have incidents, there are probably steps you take before having an incident so if you feel any of those things are happening get talking to the staff right away. I hope you have a nice relaxed day today.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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