Back Online and Not Okay

someunusualthing · 02-03-2022, 09:12 PM

Well, I've been regressing since the last time I posted on the site in general (can't even remember what it was I posted about)
It started off as a slow buildup and now it's a giant, rapidly rolling snowball going down the hill with no way for it to stop but to crash full force into a fucking wall
But I'm trying to remain positive and not make everything about me (because that's all I ever do), even though I don't think it's a coincidence that my absence made it easier for them to get their life together. It didn't click for them until I was out of their life.
But I'm not supposed to make it about me. Or think its about me because it isn't.
I'm supposed to be sober and that's not going well. I'm trying to quit smoking because its gross and I feel like shit all of the time. There's no way I can handle cutting out both at once but they both feed off each other beautifully.
Plus I need to get a job before selling pictures online wont be satisfactory enough for these men I'm meeting)
All in all I'm having a time but trying and needing to remain positive and stay grateful because despite my fucked up mind, body, heart, and soul, I'm still very much blessed.
All in all, its very hard. And Idk if there's even any tips that can be given for these types of feels.

Pi.R^2 · 06-03-2022, 11:59 PM

Hi there and welcome back, although sorry that it’s difficult circumstances that have brought you back here.

I didn’t completely follow but it sounds like you’re struggling with a separation from a friend or partner, perhaps someone who repeatedly accused you of making things about yourself? Feel free to expand on or correct that if you wish.

Quitting drinking and smoking is really tough and it’s admirable that you’re trying. Do you have any help with that, in terms of professional help, support group, friends/family?