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Old 11-08-2020, 09:19 PM   #21
Auror.
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I agree that if it makes you feel safer to have your food tested, to do it. But also is it worth trying to get in touch with your CPN to let them know how scared you are?



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Old 13-08-2020, 11:04 AM   #22
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I sent a text to my CPN with everything in it but I thought I would check if he is actually in today so I phoned Reception, and he isn't, he is on holiday until next week.



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Old 13-08-2020, 11:33 AM   #23
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I'm going to try not reading other people's posts for a bit. Sorry but I think it is unhelpful at the moment. I would really appreciate any support you can give me even though I know I don't deserve it.



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Old 13-08-2020, 07:05 PM   #24
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It's okay if that is helpful to take care of yourself. It really sucks that your CPN is out until next week. Is your family able to support you right now? Being scared and confused is really hard and not at all fun.



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Old 15-08-2020, 03:37 PM   #25
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They want to poison me. I can't have my meds tasted so why don't they put the poison in the meds?



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Old 15-08-2020, 07:16 PM   #26
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Why would your family want to poison you? They genuinely seem to care about you.



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Old 16-08-2020, 09:45 AM   #27
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The Organisation know i am a child of God so they are persecuting me. My parents cooperate to protect others.



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Old 16-08-2020, 01:45 PM   #28
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Please cal your mental health team or make a connection with someone and seek support.



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 16-08-2020, 08:32 PM   #29
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I admit that I am not religious so really do not understand how anything in that regard works. But that sounds really scary. Have you asked your parents about this? Because from what you've said about them on here in the past, that doesn't really match up.



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Old 18-08-2020, 08:47 PM   #30
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I texted my CPN on Friday, he hasn't replied. I might phone the CMHT tomorrow to see if he's in this week.

I feel so overwhelmed but I'm scared of being thought attention seeking.



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Old 19-08-2020, 05:51 PM   #31
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Just explain that whenever (hopefully) someone chats to you. You've done so much to keep yourself together and that's fighting, not attention seeking. Did you phone the CMHT today?





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Old 19-08-2020, 06:21 PM   #32
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I did, they said he was in, i guess he's just busy.



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Old 21-08-2020, 05:30 PM   #33
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I finally got a psych appointment for next week now I'm scared whether they will understand how scary this is.



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Old 21-08-2020, 07:49 PM   #34
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I'm thinking about stopping meds. At the moment the Organisation are trying to distract me with worrying about food when i ought to be worrying about poison in my meds.



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Old 22-08-2020, 03:21 AM   #35
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Could you at least wait until you speak to the psychiatrist about it?



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Old 22-08-2020, 10:15 AM   #36
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I suppose so. I only have to wait till Wednesday.



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Old 23-08-2020, 02:49 PM   #37
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I've been being sick quite a lot recently, i think it's my body rejecting the poison.



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Old 23-08-2020, 05:04 PM   #38
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We're here to help each other and you have a chance. If you're getting to have a proper getting into all then use it, use it welcome in. You don't need to go back ward. You can grow, hopefully not taking over with other wild stuff.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-08-2020, 06:50 PM   #39
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I'm seeing the psych tomorrow, I'm really scared and i don't know what I want to say, it all feels futile.



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Old 25-08-2020, 07:24 PM   #40
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Maybe copy down a few things you've written here?

It's not futile, although it may seem it. This is a chance to have your concerns listened to and hopefully some help given.

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