RYL Forums


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 27-10-2021, 03:17 AM   #201
Pomegranate
Petulant
 
Pomegranate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
I am currently:

Hi Becky, have you heard anymore about the dietician or nutritionist referral?

Without being there it’s maybe unfair to comment since no context but these are my thoughts/questions?

- Did they tell you they were pleased you were losing weight, but also express concern about the methods you were using?

- How do you feel about contacting Beat?

- What could they have said that would make you think they were taking it seriously?

I do agree that praising weight loss without being explicitly clear that the method is potentially dangerous is NOT ok and potentially warrants a complaint. It sounds as though your GP has been supportive from what you said in this post? But then you also said previously that they had also praised the weight loss?





*Proud Plumeria Sister*







Pomegranate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 08:38 AM   #202
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

Psych said I didn't need a dietician/nutritionist
Which is confusing because last appointment he said he'd refer me
I'm guessing he hasn't

He just said it's not healthy but it's good I'm losing weight

I'm nervous about contacting beat because I'm so huge and I'll feel like an idiot.

Really don't know. It's mostly the dietician thing really.
Like last time I felt like I was actually getting some support with it because of the referral. But now there isn't a referral.

I can't remember my gp praising the weight loss. Only my cpn and psych. But they may have done. My memory isn't the greatest



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 08:58 AM   #203
Elmer
Patchwork Elephant
 
Elmer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
I am currently:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate View Post
Hi Becky, have you heard anymore about the dietician or nutritionist referral?

Without being there it’s maybe unfair to comment since no context but these are my thoughts/questions?

- Did they tell you they were pleased you were losing weight, but also express concern about the methods you were using?

- How do you feel about contacting Beat?

- What could they have said that would make you think they were taking it seriously?

I do agree that praising weight loss without being explicitly clear that the method is potentially dangerous is NOT ok and potentially warrants a complaint. It sounds as though your GP has been supportive from what you said in this post? But then you also said previously that they had also praised the weight loss?
I’m sorry Emma, but asking ‘what could they have said that would make you think they were taking it seriously?’ is condescending at best. The doctor literally told Beckie he didn’t think she needed help. She doesn’t need people to make her think they’re taking it seriously, she needs help.

I can’t imagine what more context you need here - Beckie is losing weight because she has severely disordered eating. This is being praised by dangerously undereducated mental health staff, who are actively discriminating against her because of her weight. These people have no place commenting on anyone’s weight, unless it is to express CONCERN about rapid weight loss.

Intentional weight loss is dangerous for almost everyone. Diets have a 95% failure rate - ie that is the percentage of people who regain all the weight they lose through dieting, and 66% of those regain more. This leads to weight cycling and insulin resistance which are both much more dangerous than remaining at a steady, higher weight.

The fact that most mental health staff still have next to no understanding of eating disorders really disturbs me. Eating disorders aren’t rare, and underweight people make up less than 6% of that population.

I could have died because all the mental health professionals in my life were doing was endorsing weight loss at any cost, then ignoring me because I was a healthy weight.



'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'

"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."

Jenna was here :P


Elmer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 09:12 AM   #204
Pi.R^2
Pathologically flamboyant
 
Pi.R^2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
I am currently:

Everything Lio said. Frankly I’m going to need a course of counselling just to deal with the way alleged mental health professionals deal with eating disorders in non-underweight people.

Beckie, I hope that your GP will be helpful and also that you’ll feel able to contact beat. I appreciate your reluctance to contact them but is it worth it for the chance that they will be helpful? And if they say anything dumb at least you can look forward to half of RYL losing their shit about it in this thread…

Where do you want to go from here? Do you feel ready to try to take some steps in the direction of recovery? If so, I know we’re not professionals but we will be here if you need some accountability, ideas and cheerleading!


Last edited by Pi.R^2 : 27-10-2021 at 09:13 AM. Reason: RYL stole my swearing


No other sadness in the world would do


Pi.R^2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 09:27 AM   #205
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

Thanks both

I'm going to call my gp this afternoon to see if I can get an appointment. Afternoons are less busy.

I will look into beat. I just have a bit of a mental block about it

I do really want to recover and to be able to eat without feeling that intense guilt.
And not purge anymore. Because I know that's dangerous. And it's just unpleasant anyway.

You guys have been so helpful!



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 09:32 AM   #206
Elmer
Patchwork Elephant
 
Elmer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
I am currently:

Sorry for doing a rant on your thread Beckie.

I hope the GP call is successful!

Also, BEAT don’t discriminate based on weight. They won’t laugh or send you away. It might be worth trying one of their chat rooms? They’re anonymous and nobody can see you.



'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'

"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."

Jenna was here :P


Elmer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 09:47 AM   #207
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

No worries!

Thanks
I called the gp (couldn't wait until the afternoon because anxiety) and I have an appointment with my gp on Tuesday. Wasn't expecting it to be that soon tbh!
But I'm glad that's done

The chat rooms would be a good option for me I think



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 05:17 PM   #208
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

I'm so glad you were able to get such a fast appointment! Do you think you need to write out anything to say or will you be okay?

Proud of you. You shouldn't have to fight this hard to get the help that you need. I think that really does show how much you want things to change.



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-2021, 05:32 PM   #209
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

Thanks Camden

I think I will make a few notes in case I forget things

I do really want to change
I can't keep going like this



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-10-2021, 04:41 AM   #210
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

Okay after a read through, I don't think Emma's one question about what would a good reaction have been is actually something bad to think about in general. Yes, the reaction was atrocious and should not have gone how it did. But I know for me thinking about, okay what response would be helpful, what reaction would be helpful, allows me to plan out what I say and communicate better, because I can try to tailor it to wanting that response in the future.

I hope that makes some sense. Sometimes there's times I bring things up where I just want to share information and don't want to discuss it or anything, but other times I share information and would like support or advice, or would like attention. So being able to communicate my thoughts with that in mind can actually be useful.

This is not at all to say you did anything wrong Beckie! They did! Not you.

But for an example, Beckie, you want the referral to the dietician right? And you want support to help you stop purging? So maybe you can say, here's how things are going, I need a referral to a dietician to help me with some of this stuff and to see what other support options are to help me reduce the purging. (Maybe that's how you did, and if that's already what you did and they ignored it then they're even worse than I thought and I want to get on a plane and murder them all.) I just know it's really easy to just sit back and be quiet and let them make decisions, and nod along because they're supposed to be the ones who know what to do. But they don't seem to know what to do right now so sounds like they need to be flat out told. Repeatedly.

Unfortunately with ed **** and your team being uh. Stupid. For lack of a word that won't get censored. it sounds like you really may have to take a more pushy role in advocating for yourself and your needs. You shouldn't have to! They shouldn't be awful. But it might be that making it clear you're not going to leave the subject alone until they take it seriously and offer you some support might help get through their dumb little brains that they need to help you.

You shouldn't have to. They should just take you seriously. But thus far they aren't willing to do so, and this shouldn't be the end of the line. You need providers who are able to meet your needs, and they're failing to do so.

I really hope your GP can give them a kick up the ass. If not I wonder if you'd be willing to file a complaint? Their actions are harming you and keeping you from the help you need.


I follow a couple of HAES blogs on tumblr, which I know I can't link to here. But I'm going to put in a hide some of the tips they give for communication when providers are being fatphobic. (Which yours are both being fatphobic and general idiots when it comes to ed knowledge.) Maybe if your psychiatrist or others are stupid again, you can try some of them? Again you should just be taken seriously, but just some things I've seen that might be worth trying?

The following content has been hidden - Reason : tips when encountering fatphobia


Caveat here being I didn't write this I am just not allowed to link directly to tumblr.


"
“I would like to focus on the complaint that brought me in today, which is [complaint], not my weight.”

“What tests or course of treatment would you recommend to a thin person presenting with my symptoms? Why are we not doing that? I would prefer to proceed with those tests and that course of treatment.”

“Please write in my chart that I asked you for these tests and course of treatment that you would give a thin patient with my symptoms, and you declined.”

“I’d like to request a copy of my visit notes from today,” [if the above don’t work [US specific option], “what’s the correct email for my written request?”

... [there was a bit here about US specific stuff]

Medical fatphobia is a big problem, and it really heavily affects but is not restricted to people that doctors perceive to be women (whether or not those people are women). Don’t let yourself be bullied!"




I wanted to link to some other stuff, but most of it is HAES related and US specific, and I don't know how much you are interested in reading or trying to advocate. Thus feel free to ignore all of this of course!


Last edited by Auror. : 28-10-2021 at 05:15 AM.


Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 28-10-2021, 08:56 AM   #211
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

Thanks Camden
That's really helpful!

I did ask him about the dietician referral and he said I didn't need it.
I felt too silly to press the issue further

I like the bit about 'what tests or course of treatment would you recommend to a thin person'
Because I very much doubt it would be the same reaction I got!



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-10-2021, 06:00 PM   #212
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

Yes, that's exactly where I was thinking that question might have been good! Also, just because HE didn't think you need it doesn't mean you don't think you need it, or don't need it in general. He's just an idiot and I vote if that type of thing happens again absolutely kick up a fuss and push it. You need the help.



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 28-10-2021, 06:38 PM   #213
shadow-light
He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon
 
shadow-light's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: York
I am currently:

sometimes I hate medical professionals... I had a lot of very similar encounters Becki back before I finally got my bulimia diagnosis, and I'm having similar issues again now as had a bit of a relapse and wanted to "nip it in the bud" but due to my BMI they are essentially ignoring me. I won't say how I got help eventually the first time round as it really wasn't the right way to go about things, but I will say that this time round I have just badgered and badgered my GP and made clear any physical issues it's causing. I've still only managed to get a social prescriber referral but its something


so my advice is to keep mentioning it, explain the distress it's causing, explain any/all physical effects it's having, and just don't let it drop and don't let their ignorance make you feel bad. This BMI related gatekeeping for help with eating issues seriously annoys me.



Also maybe have a look into OSFED, it's the new version of EDNOS and is both definitely an illness and definitely dangerous, and should be treated as such. The fact that the professionals are both brushing you of and using language that could trigger and increase in bahaviours is just awful


I would also recommend the BEAT chat rooms, I use them myself from time to time. They are rarely very busy but the people who are in there are supportive and they are facilitated by BEAT trained people who can offer all sorts of advice and probably signposting.

shadow-light is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-10-2021, 06:45 PM   #214
Elmer
Patchwork Elephant
 
Elmer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
I am currently:

I’m so glad you got a GP appointment :) is this the GP who took you seriously last time?

I hope they can help.



'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'

"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."

Jenna was here :P


Elmer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 29-10-2021, 01:16 AM   #215
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

Thank you everyone

You've all been so helpful

It's a different GP i think
This one knows pretty much everything about my mental health and is very thorough. (She drove me to A&E once!)
I did tell her about my eating issues last time I spoke to her when psych asked them to prescribe metformin.
And she said i had disordered eating and it wasn't a good idea to prescribe it



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-10-2021, 03:49 AM   #216
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

Finally! Someone sensible!



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 29-10-2021, 09:44 AM   #217
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

She's a great GP!



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2021, 11:05 AM   #218
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

I spoke to my gp.
She has referred me to the ED service
We did the form and she's sent it off straight away
I really wasn't expecting that
I only wanted a dietician referral!
I'm feeling half hopeful, half regretful
They'll probably refuse the referral because I'm fat
And I'm worried that psych will be annoyed that I've gone behind his back
She also said if the referral gets refused, there is a local ED charity that's apparently really good

So. Yeah. That happened



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2021, 11:35 AM   #219
nonperson
 
nonperson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:

I'm glad that happened. Someone needs to be listening to you and taking this seriously.

nonperson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2021, 11:48 AM   #220
Cacoethes
90's B*tch
 
Cacoethes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hyrule
I am currently:

Thanks np



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


Cacoethes is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:06 AM.