You don't need to be sorry for posting. It sounds like you do know better, it's just that the control of an ED can still be tempting however illogical it is! Hold on to those things in your life that are so much better without an ED; maybe even write them down somewhere that you'll see every day to remind you.
Can you identify why the control of an ED feels like a positive? Is it because there are other things that you feel you cannot control?
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