I'm done. Couldn't do it, life. Fuckin sorry. All alone.
What to do? I've got a plan. A plan to kill myself.
Murder.
I've got the supplies. This time, I'll take enough for it to work. Don't worry, I'll do it right this time.
At the park. No, not where the children would find me, I'm not that sick.
A beautiful dress I've never worn. I'll shower, do my hair, look nice.
It's okay.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
darling are you ok <3 have you anyone in RL that you can talk to right now about the things that are going on for you. im so sorry that you feel that you can't go on right now <3 but things can get better <3 please try not to do anything
I don't have anyone. I've tried so hard to feel happy, and it's not working. I can't get out of this hole I'm in, so now I'm putting the dirt back in; with me in it.
I'm so terribly sorry.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
could you try and ring a friend or a helpline? <3 dont be sorry darling i'm glad that you are still here to talk to me :) it sounds like you are having a really tough time right but im sure things can get better for you <3 has anything specifically happened today or lately to make you feel this bad
Oh no please don't give up. Your so lovely you really are and i hardly know you. You took the time to pm me because you were worried about me which says to me that your a wonderful person. Please keep talking to us. What is it that has made you feel this way? Why do you feel like giving up? Whats happened? I care about you and im sure that lots of other people do to. Do you not have any close friends that you can talk to?
I feel really good now because I've got a plan. What does this mean? I'm like, really happy. I think it's because I know what I'm going to do.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I hope you were able to get through last night safely.
Please try to get yourself some support.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
It's good to hear from you. I'm glad you got through last night safely.
Can you reach out if you're still feeling unsafe?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
As a reminder, there's not 'got to' about this situation. It's still a choice whether you're going to go through with it or not. If you reached out there would be people willing to help you through it <3
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
People drive others crazy. Suicide is their final victory. Giving up = giving in - to "them". I sense you're more of a fighter and have more sense (as exhibited by your sensitivity to children in the park). You're still very young and don't be fooled by present circumstances. You have a long way to go and many things to discover. Take struggles as an opportunity for adventure and then doors will open in your mind that you didn't know you had. No giving in (as others hope - consciously or not). If you hate problems, yourself, other people then you will be fixated to the dark side of your psyche. There is another side and its attitude and some new skills that get
you there
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
Empty is ok - better empty than full in a false way. Everyone has the roots of contentment within themselves but they don't know it. There is a place inside that makes you feel alive when you connect with it in a special way. Beiing either too happy or too angry ("too" anything) can keep you cut off from that place because overly emotional responses keep people connected to the things outside them. That's why when people get famous and rich and celebrated they are shocked to find they still feel empty - and so the drugs, suicides etc still take place in their lives. There is a way to handle being empty so that it passes and the new door opens.
There is a neutral zone between whats fake and real. Drinking, SI etc can make people feel good - at first. Then it makes then feel worse. Giving those things up also seems worse - at first. Then the deadness passes and new life comes back. Life has a curious reversed dynamic - what would seen to fill creates more emptiness - what looks like deprivation can actually lead to fulfillment. Having 200 good time friends is not as good as having 5 that are real friends. The people with the 200 friends may never learn that because they are always caught up in the surface energy.
A main thing to do is to learn to "feel the hurt" without "feeling the hate". Being really really angry at anything (including yourself) pulls you out of your tree (inside yourself). You can fall inside yourself and get stuck in your won machinery. The more you think and feel the worse it gets. Struggle backfires - like being stuck in seaweed.
If I slap your hand it will sting - then the pain will quickly pass and you will be fine. But if you also get really angry then even when the pain is gone your mind will be fixated to what happened. You will relive what happened over and over - and get upset over and over. "Next time he does that I will do/say this or that" etc etc. Then when you see me again you will be upset again. That's how emotional upsets pull you in and down. The upset causes more trouble than the slap. That's why bad people want you upset and look for ways to do it. When you don't get too upset it backfires and then they get upset and start to fear you (and they will leave you alone).
Of course some are upsetting and until you learn more you will still overreact. Just see that and don't add to it. If you watch the thought/emotion storm and don't fall into it for too long it will pass and you will feel stronger and not weaker. When you get too upset you will feel like an effect in your life and not a cause - like you're at the end of everyone else chain. This can all change - and good things will happen out of the blue (serendipity) the way bad things seem to now. Dark, hostile emotions call bad things out of life like a magnet draws iron fillings. When the negative stuff goes better things come around. That doesn't mean you have to like everyone though. There are bad people and its ok to dismiss them - just don't let then get you hating them.
Feeling empty is where the doorway is. Its no fun there but all anyone needs to do is cross a line in their mind to get beyond it. People filled up with too many thing never get there. Its 25,30,40 yrs latter they realized they thought a dream was real and lost themselves. You're lucky you are able to learn more things now.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I know ur very distressed at the moment but if u want support u need to figure it out how to express ur emotions without threats of suicide cus it's not fair in the ppl trying to support u especially when it's not in real life
I'm not trying to b a bitch I have had to learn this too
