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Old 06-04-2020, 08:14 PM   #1
xXLost_and_BrokenXx
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Scunthorpe
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Not coping with lockdown loneliness

Some background, I finally made it to university last year at the age of 28. I'd spent the previous 7 years in and out of mental health services building up my mental health till I was well enough to go back to work and study. I got used to living on my own and having no friends. When I went to university I moved in to halls fully expecting to not make any friends thinking it was only for a year and then I could dibs my own place the next year. I was really lucky to have made a small but very close group of friends. They went home at the beginning of March when the university began to close down, I however having been an independent student didn't have anywhere to go so stayed here. 2 of my friends came back to move their things out of halls this weekend and 3 are still in lockdown at home. I'm not coping on my own here. Ive been surprised at how much being alone is affecting me but I think it's because I've had a taste of what it's like to have friends and be happy, they've helped me through a really tough 6 months as my grandma became terminally ill and passed away. I've seen them every day I've been here and now not seeing them and having our year end like this so suddenly and seriously with us all over the country is so hard. I feel so lonely every day and am spending so much of my day asleep so as not to be sat doing nothing and feeling like crap. I just don't know how to cope with feeling like this anymore. My friends and I we message everyday and we video chat often but it often makes me feel lonelier after. Does anyone have any tips for coping with loneliness.

Ps. Apologies if there's any typos I posted this on my phone.





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Old 07-04-2020, 10:59 AM   #2
nonperson
 
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Firstly I want to say well done for getting to uni and making friends. That can't have been easy at all. I'm glad they've been there to help you through some tough times.

I'm sorry you're struggling though. I was going to ask whether you were messaging and videochatting with your friends so that's really good you're already doing that so often. I understand what you mean about feeling lonelier after talking to people though.

I think it's important to try and keep busy in the inbetween moments and to try to stick to a daily routine. I totally understand just wanting to be asleep (I've been lingering on the loneliness too much lately myself) and how hard it is to find the motivation.

Maybe what you need to do is make a plan for something to do once you've finished the video calls? Maybe even discuss it with the person you're talking to and then feedback on it the next time you chat? Or maybe even a joint project, something arty or written so you can show each other your progress? I'm kind of just thinking out loud here but it might help to keep that connection going even when you've stopped chatting.

Obviously there's always random and lighthearted chitchat on here too which, although isn't the same as talking to a real person, is still a good way to interact with people and not feel so alone.

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