Back here again.

RaeNoctem · 01-08-2020, 05:11 AM

I truly hate myself right now.

After pushing through all the **** since I was 14, now 29, I find myself stupidly and foolishly back where I started.

Spent time avoiding him, knew I'd fall hard. But he wouldn't give up. Despite me being UK and him USA. We spent too many months talking daily. I trust him more than people who can stand next to me.

But now, he has disappeared. I'm stuck between worry and hurt.

Problem is, I never realised how much I started to rely on him. And now I find myself depressed, alone, and in pain. I hate that I feel so empty now. Feel so weak.

Pi.R^2 · 02-08-2020, 09:24 PM

Sorry to hear that your friend/boyfriend(?) has disappeared, the not-knowing and sudden absence is so difficult. Do you have any way of at least finding out if he is OK (contact details of a friend/family member, has he 'seen' your messages etc?).

I don't believe that we are ever truly back where we started though. Maybe you're finding yourself in a similar predicament to when you were 14, but you've got 15 years of knowledge and experience to help you fight back against this empty feeling.