Life feels scary

[tamobhuuta]

*hugs* what have you done today? Was anything worth repeating?

[Unbreakable.]

It's okay to not have words. <3

Are you managing to look after yourself okay with food/sleep etc?

[[Luna]]

Struggling with self-care like eating properly, washing and taking my meds. Don't have the energy or motivation to do much.
Struggling with nightmares and flashbacks. We're entering the hardest time of year for me and I'm feeling it already. Self-harm urges are through the roof. I need to be punished. Voices are reinforcing this.

We're doing trauma in counselling and it's so difficult and painful.

I'm scared all the time.

[Unbreakable.]

*sends hugs and love*

Can you identify one or two self-care things that take priority over other things? Maybe your wife can help with that.
I imagine meds are pretty important. With not doing much I again recommend picking one thing a day that has priority and letting yourself ignore minor responsibilities.

I don't know if that is helpful at all, but maybe you can remind yourself that the voices are no necessarily right and don't have your best interest at heart at all. Just because they say something doesn't mean that's true.

Doing trauma in therapy must be super hard and also de-stabilizing. Especially when it overlaps with a time where you are struggling anyway.

Is there anything in particular that has you scared?

Let me know if you want another Skype sometime next week, I'll try be more cheerful this time :P

[[Luna]]

Thank you for the advice love, I really appreciate it.
I'm feeling very spacey at the moment and struggling to concentrate.
I'm scared people are going to get sick and die and it's all going to be my fault.
I want to get the evil out. It doesn't feel safe.

[Pi.R^2]

Unless you went out coughing on strangers after you tested positive, then I don't think people are going to get sick because of you!

How are you getting on?

[[Luna]]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pi.R^2

Unless you went out coughing on strangers after you tested positive, then I don't think people are going to get sick because of you!

In my rational, adult mind I know this but it hard to remember this when the memories and flashbacks are strong. I feel small, panicked and scared. The demons show me all these horrific things and it doesn't feel worth the risk to not do what they say.

I've started making wax melts at home to sell, the distraction has been helping but as soon as I sit down or try the sleep everything goes into overdrive.

It's hard to ignore when this time of year is so full of triggers. In the past I worked hard to try and create positive memories for the run up to Christmas and Christmas itself (although life often seems to want to kick me when I'm down) but this year I'm avoiding talking about Christmas or wanting to do anything related unless I have to. I have no energy for it. It hurts.

Thank you for replying Jenna xx