Straight, i don't believe you are beyond help. I do believe however, that you have not yet met anyone who knew how to help you. But that does not mean that people like that don't exist.
Just as i believe that anybody can be taught anything given the right teacher, i also believe anyone can be helped given the right kind of helper. Yes, they can be hard to come by. And it seems like a dead end road trying to find them. But i also just happen to Think that they'll find you somehow, somewhere when you least expect it. But you kind of have to stick around to allow it to happen.
I agree that life is mostly a piece of shit that you have to endure day after day for a few fletning glimpses of the feeling of being alive in between. But even in hardships there are lessons to be learned. And one day you might be the bearer of all the wisdom someone else Will need to progress from their own private darkness. And that gives me a sense of hope about the future.
Don't give up!!! Maybe it gets better, maybe it doesn't, either Way please just keep trying because as long you do that there is still hope.
And besides, it ain't over until the fat lady sings. And i haven't sung yet!!!!
Curveball
